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When British visitors came to the German office, they'd often have questions. A common one was why Germans seem so pessimistic. I'd then explain "Bernd das Brot", a depressed loaf of bread puppet, and a staple of kids TV for decades. There were few follow-up questions.

Took daughter to the Bäckerei, we stand in the queue. She asks for Krapfen, I say no, they’re not for breakfast. Before I know it, the people around us have assembled an adhoc legal team and are forcefully advocating for my daughter. And that’s why we had Krapfen for breakfast.

I can't imagine b without Kaffee und Kuchen, just as I can't imagine Britain without tea. Unlike the British though, Germans aren't judged on how they make their favourite hot beverage. Is this why coffee in Germany can be so hit & miss? Blog Post: bit.ly/3HRsL0m

Recently, our daughter started using "man" to end sentences. It's very Geordie, which obviously confuses Germans. Before leaving her at the kindergarten, I made a stupid joke. Irritated, she shouted "Daddy, man!". Her teacher helpfully responded "Ja, dein Papa ist ein Mann".

We have a new colleague in the office, freshly arrived in Germany. They just asked another colleague why the windows aren’t open, even though it’s blisteringly hot. I’m now watching them learn about the many dangers of Zugluft in summer. Welcome to Germany baby!

If there’s one thing that unites the UK and #Germany it’s complaining. That being said, the approach is wildly different. What are the different cultures of complaining and why might a cathartic moan lead to trouble in Germany? Blog Post: bit.ly/3I4OzG3

People think speaking German is all about handling the long words like "Streichholzschachtel" or "Arbeitslosigkeitsversicherung". Actually, speaking German is about handling the panic when you have to say the shorter ones like "Hähnchen", "Rührei", or "Überstürzen".

Hancock and all the others who carelessly and selfishly used the pandemic to help their mates financially whilst risking thousands of lives need to be held to account. Properly.

I'm often told that living in Bavaria is like living in a different century. Turns out Bavaria is actually really modern, even the Oktoberfest now accepts payment via mobile...which was invented in...*checks notes*...2015. So, we're only a decade out of date...

Honestly, German journalism is laughable. The Ampelkoalition wasn't great I'll admit, but if they'd decided to vote against their own agreement to reduce energy bills for everyone, the media would be firing out hysterical headlines about chaos & arguments in government.

Shopping in #Germany is rarely described as convenient. Supermarkets are hard to navigate, payment methods aren’t uniform and customer service is disinterested. Is Germany a land of inconvenience culture and could that actually be a good thing? Blog Post: bit.ly/4lgN7PE

Years ago, while teaching, I joked that Käsekuchen & Käsesahnetorte were the same. The room erupted in anger. A week later, everyone had baked cakes. I was told to test them. That's when I learned Germans are serious about cake, and my jokes might need some work.

For the millionth time: it's not rude, it's just that the Germans are more direct and have no time for your namby-pamby modal verbs. Now, shut up and wear these Hausschuhe...

Politeness, social distance, dislike, all can be communicated in German depending on whether you use "Sie" or "Du", but can German grammar rules also prevent social awkwardness? Blog Post: bit.ly/4lSv8yU

Recently, I met a Bavarian, a South Tyrolean, a Swiss bloke, and a kid from Austria. They all spoke German, but not the same type. I was lost in a dialect maze. I turned to a mate from Hamburg for help. "What did they say?" I whispered. "No idea" he said "just keep nodding".

I'm sure most will agree UK-Germany friendship and cooperation treaty signed by Keir Starmer and Friedrich Merz is a positive step. Still, I do feel like the signing could have done with some more friendly vibes, perhaps a change in personnel would have helped?

Barbecue culture is serious business in #Germany , with courses on how to become a grillmeister, and endless debates about what makes a proper Kartoffelsalat. What can a visitor expect should they ever be lucky enough to get an invite? Blog Post: bit.ly/3Uk2Npj

Germans have a reputation for directness, sadly no one told 15-year-old me before our school exchange to Hamburg in 1998. Before leaving, I asked one of the German girls for her address so we could be pen pals. She looked at me quizzically and asked "Why? I won't write back."

When people talk about German words, they mention the long ones and hyper specific ones. However, the best, and probably most fun to say, is the adjective "unbedingt" (absolutely). It's not fancy but it sounds so good: un-be-dingt Like a drum roll in the middle of a sentence.

Most people in #Germany know about the British class system, but few would discuss German society in terms of class. Does Germany have a class system and how is it different from the UK? Blog Post: bit.ly/4m6V21S