I was on the phone with a professional, trying to find the words to describe something as ‘fine art’ but I couldn’t think of that so I just called it a ‘gourmet painting’

Becky Braunstein thanks for being a guest on the podcast today! You can hear the interview here! feeds.buzzsprout.com/2452730.rss #comedy Buzzsprout #podcast #podcasting #podcastlife @anactorslife

This was a great time. You ever chat with a Canadian? Do it. We’re both so overly nice it’s amazing either one of us got a word in. Tune in:

I didn’t know there was an Oscar for second best actor 😮

80% of success is knowing when to shut the fuсk up

I just sneezed so hard it paused my music #allergies

Portuguese is like if Spanish was German

Fine, I’ll be pope

Endlich ergibt es Sinn: Thomas Müller wird der neue Papst

I wish my therapist would make a less excited face when I tell her I’ve made a new friend

Can you DoorDash something to a parked car, just curious, I am not high

There’s smoke coming out of my apartment window right now too, but I assure you it has nothing to do with the pope

Never thought we’d have a pope named Bob

My Catholic friends are doing the same thing right now on social media that comedians do when the JFL New Faces lineup comes out

Whichever country doesn’t have flashing lights during their song gets all 20 of my votes for Eurovision next year

Wow a senator with a spine 😀 are there more, or was that all we get?

Comedians are just like government officials: we post a bunch of meaningless garbage on social media, don’t do anything all day, have incomprehensible beefs with each other, and you’re always wondering how the hell we ended up in your feed

TONIGHT! Come to The Pleasure Chest 8pm to see Adam Conover Debra DiGiovanni Alex Falcone Jamel Johnson, Daniel Webb Becky Braunstein Eli Olsberg free beer, free parking, 15% off any in-store purchases! Get tix here: eventbrite.com/e/performance-…

We’re 5 years into COVID. At Year 5 of HIV/AIDS, the CDC found the data hopeful & encouraging. They didn’t think it was that bad. If we were in Year 5 of polio, we wouldn’t know how many people developed complications for another 5-10 years. Our perception of time is warped.

The most violence you will ever encounter in Portland is if you try to cut in line for brunch at the Screen Door. Lives have been lost