We are testing our platform configuration with 2 million users. Quick check: user profile loading time—45 seconds. NGL, terrible. So, a classic conversation: "Can you speed this up, guys?" "C'mon, do you think we have some magic switch to make things faster?" Well, actually...

I’m always tempted to name the cloned variable in PHP as dolly. 🐑 I just wonder if there is a PHPCS rule for this. 😆

One very frustrating aspect of writing a baseline JavaScript JIT for untyped JS code is that it is extremely difficult to make it significantly faster than the interpreter, if that interpreter was heavily optimized. It gets worse. Working on the JIT forces us to look at

#PHP is pretty fast, huh? But sometimes… not enough. There R many ways to #speedup your #code. Bohuslav Šimek will help us look at them and examine their costs. You'll be amazed by results! #phpconpl24 #Poland #HotelStok #Šimek #increasing #optimization youtu.be/31RA-07tB6k

I asked Replit ⠕ for a JIT engine and what did I receive? Virtually "mov rax, 42" :-D

ok, maybe I was too harsh on vibe-coding last time — so instead of building a full-blown JIT engine, I went with something… ehm… weird? 😅 ✅ Frontend in pure PHP ✅ Runs via WebAssembly ✅ No JavaScript — still fully interactive ✅ No hand-coding — everything done by

Only at Aberdeen Airport: Check-in for Bohuslav Šimek and... Bohuslav Šimek?? Lady at the counter: "This could be a problem—how am I supposed to tell you two apart? Maybe use different names next time?" You’d think airlines would be used to family flights 😅

Working with AI sometimes feels like arguing with a junior dev who insists regex can parse HTML. 😆

Cool! Does that mean we will finally have a useful Microsoft Teams? 😅

Ladies and gentlemen, introducing Devin! 😅

OpenAI reportedly in talks to acquire AI coding startup Windsurf for ~$3B.

Can’t wait to see this happen… in the metaverse. 😏

This is just sad...

this is a test, please give this a retweet if you see it on your timeline, I'm testing for reach without a blue tick, thank you my lovelies.💜 #C64 #Commodore

history repeats itself first by tragedy second by farce 😅

🐘PHP is now proudly represented by the 🇵🇭 flag of the Philippines!

The issue is that I’ve had the same feeling since I opened my first tab in Opera on a Pentium 133 and listened to trashy MP3s. Glad that we’ve come a long way from that. 😅