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What are you up to at 5.30pm? My guess is you'll be logging onto TABtouch and smashing F5 until your finger hurts. All remaining Sat Ascot markets up at 5.30pm for one of the great days on the racing calendar.

Surely a new studio means a more mature and focused approach

Every year, at about this time. You just want to pour a glass of red, light some candles, play some romantic Cardi B in the background and soak in the Raconteur nominations. Market up at about 1.30pm Wednesday with TABtouch

Double Mart. Happy Valentines Day

Gee I'm looking forward to attending Royal Belmont, celebrating Plumby's 30th and maybe a few frothies with Mart and the Duppster. Unsure if my uber driver shares my enthusiasm.

Pre-training for Royal Toodyay. Off for the week. A stress free Thursday morning followed by (I'm assuming) Brad Short or The Duppster joining Rylie Morgan and #Mart on Straight Up this arvo. How good is horse racing.

Really interested in buying Ritchie Bell's pre-race prices, does he run a subs service? He seems to back every winner and know it was a big price after they've won.

Day for it. Two hours before R1, bar not even open yet, #intent #RoyalToodyay

Hannans market now up with TABtouch. Unleash the beast (responsibly)

He became a legend that day

May have driven past Ascot yesterday just to smell the lawn. The Max up by 1.30pm with @tab_touch but I'm that excited by opening day that it's likely to be up prematurely. I swear that never happens baby.

What a day. Had a beer with Dupp, attended a great event on the deck and a 3 piece box to finish off. I get why sectional data still hasn't been released, they need to verify that Mitchy set a track record to find me at the Stone Motherless and say 'Thanks for the $3.80 Champ'

I only have three rules 1) Always have hash browns in the freezer 2) 'Would you like to upgrade that meal Sir?' isn't a question, it's a badly worded statement 3) Expect Sat Ascot Pinnacles features up at 1.30pm Wed, with the rest of the card up at 6pm with TABtouch

TABtouch Perth Racing For those who asked, you shall receive... The Straight UP Retravision textline TIP-OFF! The barbs have been traded for weeks now, but it's Duppy v The Maylands Mauler to settle the score once and for all... Winner's prize to be confirmed on the program next

Let's ave it

Stop it.

3 weeks off. Dartboard and surname maintenance. For all meerkats and 'have it again Champs' please refer to an A.I program over east. Hugs and kisses.

If you haven't hit F5 at least 200 times in the last 24 hours, you can't really classify yourself as a Perth racing fan.

Put down that chocolate, push the Monday arvo frothy aside, and get punting on the three Ascot Sat features up now with TABtouch . Happy Easter you filthy reprobates