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#twinpeaks

touching grass or grassly touching?

call me back when dubai chocolate becomes some kind of sex slang then I'll care

Christian Bale's full name is Christianity Balenciaga.

Basic human decency shouldn't be political.

monday, you raggedy bitch.

state mandated margarita at your desk

My kindergarten teacher literally taught our whole class to line dance to this song. It was a cultural MOMENT… not a great one, by any means, but a moment nevertheless

Sure, I hate Mondays. But I hate the IDF more.

Facts!

No, you misheard me, I said I'm a Sikeiatrist.

Ass so fat it has voting rights

Extra therapy today bc I’m extra crazy

This is the most evergreen meme of all time

taking over a job of someone who quit outta nowhere means i dont know shit about fuck. phew.

based on tweet by Cannie Oakley: Local Cryptid ! thegoodshirts.com/products/unfor…

Self-awareness is the ultimate double-edged sword

on top of everything today, the new coffee pods i bought taste like bug spray. old yeller me. now.

"Love Island" is just what Trump called Epstein's.

"I'm in the business of misery..." - it's sales