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i have an area in my backyard i call "the big stew" it's a pit i dug where i dump old batteries, gas, household chemicals, and dr pepper. i stir it once a month

i threw like 350 smoke detectors in there the other day lol. the air tastes like pennies

stop moving to Berlin. You can do ecstasy and wear a leather jacket in the city you live in

Hey, #Hellraiser fans: Get the #pangram in today's #Nytspellingbee wrong...

The Inbetweeners is a 38 year old man’s Sex in the city

At music or the other thing

Super excited to try Drink, i hope Flavor tastes good

not to side with the men here, but why do women 5'3" and under have such strong preferences for men 6ft+. you are a hobbit, 5'8" is tall enough. you can't even tell when your 5'8" boyfriend is lying about being 6'0" because you're so short.

If you see me at a summer wedding wearing this, I give you permission to stage an intervention.

ipad babies are OUT it’s time for pea bag babies

Turned the fan on the rats and they've gone nuts

dutch people eat like an alleycat in a cartoon

Jonathan Van Ness’ Waluigi

it’s so nice to know that there are at least 62,000 people out there who i am better than

I’m deeply saddened but forever grateful - Sara undoubtedly left Bristol a greener and healthier place and was a major contributor to our year as ⁦EU Green Capital⁩ 2015. RIP ‘Gardening rock star' Sara Venn dies’ bristol247.com/news-and-featu…

Fuck it, I'll spill - when women turn 30, the entiret dating pool opens up for you. The 40-60 somethings are hot on our tails and the 20-somethings want in. Or as I like to say: you get to choose between the father, the son, and the holy ghost. AMEN!

I noticed in the garden today that the Fox I planted last year is growing nicely.

I enjoyed St Paul’s Carnival earlier

have a friend in nyc - 6'10", ivy league rower and quarterback at michigan state, makes $45M a year as a tech finance doctor, he's a calvin klein model in paris, and he cannot find a gf. women spit on him on the street. they drive up onto the curve to run him over. they hate him