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Today and tomorrow, everybody! Cameo @SandyHookPromise

Some bullshit version of masculinity wrapped in the lie that “real men don’t reach out for help; a real man can solve his own problems” was passed down to us for generations. I lost a life-long friend to suicide, and I attribute it to this poisonous idea. Reach out. Please.

My second-favorite cop show from the 70s.

Happy birthday my friend, my collaborator, my sister, my lieutenant, my Goddess of Chaos & Harmony. Glad you got to spend some time with Luna, the Dog By Which I Measure All other Dogs. I love you, Kid Mayhem. Thanks for the infinite bounty you bring to the table. ms mayo

Please enjoy tonight’s episode of #ChicagoFire, written by Matt Whitney, directed by Brenna Malloy. Many people devoted many hours of their lives to the strenuous work of producing this episode, so that you may relax and enjoy it in the comfort of your home, and also for money.

Season’s Greetings! What say we all set aside a few minutes from our last-minute holiday stuff-hustle, and help the struggling artists of Kid Mayhem push their song “In Harm’s Way” into the vaunted “Top 300 First-Responder-Themed Holiday Songs” list? youtu.be/KfR5b8G5MFE

I’d like to thank the producers of Chicago Fire for bringing in yet another Perfect Specimen of Alpha Manhood to juxtapose with Me in photographs. ALSO: TONIGHT — An All-New Episode of Chicago Fire! #ChicagoFire #OneChicago Jake Lockett

Wedge you be interested in watching Chicago Fire tonight? I’m not cribbing around, it Audi be a good one! (Flames photoshopped for dramatic effect.) #ChicagoFire #OneChicago

Tonight’s episode of #ChicagoFire will be a memorable one. If you don’t watch it, you’re definitely not going to see it. Put down your stupid TikTok and watch some goddamn drama. And as always, I thank you for your time.

Tony and my girl Luna cordially invite you to watch #ChicagoFire tonight. “Chicago Fire: The Only Fire Show That Matters” — Christian Stolte, (who sometimes reads) The New York Times

Ohhhhh, this looks like a good one. #ChicagoFire #OneChicago

I really need everyone to picture this.

Orlando airport. Lots of people staring at me like they’re looking at a dead man. #GonnaBeAWeirdSummer #ChicgoFire

Congratulations and best of luck to my Chicago Fire family, on tonight’s Season 12 Premiere! Thank you all for 11 spectacular years! Just know I’ll be watching over y’all tonight, from up here on this cold-ass roof. TRUCK UP! #ChicagoFire #TruckUP

If you don’t watch tonight, you will do very poorly on tomorrow’s quiz. TONIGHT! Kidd and Mouch take 81 out for some midnight glizzies! #ChicagoFire 8pm Central on NBC! #OneChicago

TONIGHT on #ChicagoFire — Mouch’s charisma becomes a liability that threatens Sylvie’s beloved Paramedicine Program! (You’ll see.) Featuring a Trudy Platt hall-of-fame moment that is absolutely SLAMMIN’. (No really, you’ll see.) Plus, pound cake! #OneChicago