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America would be a lot more tolerable if our capitalist overlords were just portly raccoons.

Being a petty bastard all 2020, internet edition

It’s clear to me all these HOT SINGLE MILFS IN MY AREA aren’t taking this quarantine seriously.

Mother’s Day can be hard for some but is also an opportunity to spread love and connection. Make sure to cherish both mothers and children alike. The currency of this holiday is consideration, and practicing that empathy on all of your loved ones is important. Art Mari Andrew

Watch how the ultra-wealthy in America gradually raised the taxes of the poor and eventually bent the curve downward until they paid the lowest tax rate of all

My ass, the thickiest. My toks, the tickiest.

Are you trying to tell me a thimble is not made for babies to take shots?

Tune in tonight my sweet babies~

Pieces of pencil lead stuck in your palms are just millennial stigmata don’t @ me

New shoot with #alexhainer at distance

Get a first listen of Borrasca, a new podcast starring Cole M. Sprouse. Could the sudden disappearances of people in the town of Drisking, Missouri, be connected to a nearby mountain? apple.co/Borrasca

Very excited about our first episode of #Borrasca dropping TODAY on Apple Podcasts ! Anyone familiar with the story will know -exactly- what they’re in for. Tread lightly. New episode each Monday. Go listen to me whisper into your unclean ears. @Qcodemedia

Borrasca is your next favorite fiction podcast. Cole M. Sprouse stars in this scripted thriller about a mysterious mountain outside a small town where people have been disappearing. apple.co/Borrasca

Cole Sprouse said WHAT?!?