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I was very sadly not accepted as a wrestler in the WWE because they found out my signature move was spanking my opponent while drinking a beer mixed with his father's ashes

Hey duderrinos Tony Bananza here and today we're gonna play through Wario World without taking a single hit *Gets hit)

New Tech: Looking at pictures of Nicolas Cage during a match will get you killed and cause you to lose the game

If you run out of milk you can always use shampoo as a suitable substitute

Discard all your selfish ambitions, release the chains of the childhood that holds you back, give up all the vices, and all the frustrations that infiltrate your state of peace and mind. For in doing this, you will finally be able to do the recaptcha test on the first try

Do you think Popeye gets kidney stones

You know what they say. You can either use the power of creating beauty for good, or you could draw porn of the muppets

Hey DUDERINOS, Tony Bananza here. Just because you're single on Valentine's Day, doesn't mean that you can't fill that totally rapturous bleeding non-excellent wack open wound in your heart by buying some clubhouse crackers from Walmart and chowing down. Those are for sure gnarly

toe bungus

I'll never forgive Donkey Kong 64 for the death of my father

I'm gonna go to the moon and I'm gonna think to myself wow you spilled yogurt on yourself when you were 9 you're just a total failure aren't you

People are more likely to give money to street performers who play guitar than people who play connect the dots with their stomach acne

Letting all my shareholders know I did not successfully grow apple trees in my backyard due to eating the seeds

I want to thank runescape for teaching me how to spell strenght

I threw in a pack of condoms so that the cashier doesn't get suspicious about why I'm buying 962 coconuts

I'm pretty sure we as a society would be collectively happier if fish could float in the air

Defuse a bomb with only your buttcheeks challenge #viral

If it didn't happen, then it's highly probable that something else happened

Do not listen to people on the internet telling you that you can get friends fast at venues by doing air guitar and mouthing your favorite terrible song

Contrary to popular belief I don't think the parasite piloting my frontal lobe has been doing a great job and if he didn't have a family I probably would have fired him a couple of months ago