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A guy once told me the Kardashians all eat ass and that’s why NBA players date them because they like getting their asses eaten. “James Harden gettin his ass eaten, right now,” he said.

Cold Stone Steve Austin

I don’t like when the punchline is a therapy phrase “Codependant,” “Trauma response” “Abandonment issues,” I have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about, and I won’t hold space for it.

In the mid-19th century, Pete Holmes would have been selling electrical belts that cure migraines.

Every other news station “Trump in Epstein files,” you put on Fox News and it’s “HILLARY CLINTON ON HORSE!”

Crazy that “least funny guy” in group chat has become a successful internet personality type.

New album out today on aspecialthing records Thank you to everyone who ever gave me stage time, everyone who ever laughed, everyone who ever recoiled, the sun, the moon and the stars lnk.to/yellsatcrowd?f…

Today, former presidenf Barack Obama tried to have comedian Jimmy Dore murdered.

Hey Grok how many times has Flappers comedy club visited my profile?

I was just kicked out of an American Eagle store for being catholic??

Hey Grok what’s the worst comedy club in Los Angeles that rhymes with snappers?

Gohardo Alcapone Flappers Comedy Club. Reviews are mixed—some praise the laughs and food, but many comics criticize its pay-to-play model and poor reputation. What's your take?

Gohardo Alcapone Recent Yelp review from June 2025 reports unclean restrooms at Flappers Burbank, including an unflushed toilet and foul odors. No mentions of long-term clogs in current sources. For real-time status, contact the club directly at (818) 845-9721.

What’s the most random untrue rumor you believed was true until you found out it wasn’t? Mine was people saying the Mambo #5 guy was dead.

Brendan Cooney I thought Jim Croce was black. He’s Italian

That Kate Bosworth was related to Brian Bosworth.

Hey Gen Z- stop being mean to Millennials. I'm fucking serious. Stop it or I'll sue.

An opinion like this on a public platform without being funny should have sincerely devastating and life altering consequences