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I have a prediction on the Cook County State’s Attorney race: None of the staff from either campaign is going to sleep at all for the next two days. #CookCounty #Chicago

Are they suggesting that no one thought to video it?

Seeing one of my all time fav live acts tonight: #sleaterkinney Last time I saw them was ballpark 20 years ago. I’m legit giddy for this show.

Easter is this Sunday. Immediately followed, in accordance with religious tradition, by April Fools’ Day. “On the third day he rose. On the fourth day he was like ‘just kidding y’all!’”

Last night at the bar, I was watching the TV and someone walked in front of me. Their head was smaller than the TV but, because it was closer to me, it blocked out the entire view of the TV. #Eclipse2024 #Eclipse

Actual footage of #Eclipse2024

An important reminder: you don’t need special glasses to stare directly at the people watching the eclipse. #Eclipse #Eclipse2024

The lower suicide rate among men in their 50’s is undoubtedly because we find it’s kinda interesting watching the world completely going to shit. We get to see how it ends without being upset about losing younger years. Seems worth sticking around!

Whenever elected officials debate the statistics around Shot Spotter, it is conclusively proven that elected officials are incredibly bad at understanding statistics.

This is a big big deal.

I am strongly in favor of both Biden and Trump spending the next four years on a golf course — retired from this political nonsense. In fact they can go now.

For those thinking “but Biden says he’s running” is the end of the story, the rule in politics is until you’re not running, you’re running. If Biden does step down, his last statement before the announcement will be an unequivocal statement he’s still running. #PassTheTorch

I have conversations every day with Dems who say they don’t care when Biden lies because it’s a moral imperative that he wins, yet can’t comprehend that people on the other side feel exactly the same way. Meanwhile everyone else says “they all lie” and moves on.

We don’t need another presidential debate, but these guys should do this every week. They’re answering and honestly debating policy questions in a way that we haven’t seen in years. #Debate2024

After an election critically marred by liberals’ inability to understand the concerns of other people, no I don’t think the solution is to abandon popular social media for platforms only of people in the exact same bubble. But y’all have fun.

Are these things still called tweets? If so, I’m gonna do more tweets in 2025. Mostly I’ve just been on here to see if the alien drones have invaded New Jersey.

I did do that!