Two double yolkers this morning. Just thought you should know.

Signing off this thing for a while. Be good to each other x

Learning the hard way that part-time work is as elusive as a bag of fusilli. If anyone knows of any way I can help out in south west London in exchange for a few pennies I'd be very grateful. I'm nice, I'm a decent gardener, and I can lift heavy things. Keep safe peeps xx

31st Jan: TELL US PRECISELY HOW MUCH EACH OF YOU 4.8 MILLION SELF-EMPLOYED BASTARDS EARN AND WE WANT IT TO THE FUCKING PENNY! 20th Mar: You probs all make 92 quid a week.

Dear Boris Johnson, the self-employed freelance community contributed £271bn to the UK economy in 2017 - enough to fund the NHS twice over (via IPSE). And that stat has grown since. Don't forget about us (4.8 million self-employed in the UK). Please RT.

Government assistance for employed people during #COVID19 is up to £2,500 per month. For the self-employed, it is £376 per month. There are 5 million self-employed people in the UK. Boris Johnson, Rishi Sunak - please announce measures to help them now.

Stay safe out there! “Hands... washing hands..” 🎶

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

Briefly breaking my social media hiatus to say that I am aware of my privilege and that #BlackLivesMatter . I am heartbroken, confused and angry that human beings are murdered, oppressed and judged for the colour of their skin. I see you and I am listening. Love and solidarity x

Just popping back on this thing for a minute as it seemed like a good time to remind you that this happened once. Ok I'm off again now bye.

Amelia's one of the best. Donkor '21!

Came up short on this one but there are some strong teams fighting our corner over the next 2 years. Thank you to everyone who voted for me, and congratulations to everyone elected. Onward. Love and solidarity x

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The last time 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 met 🇮🇹 in the Euros was in 2012. The match ended 0-0 and went to penalties, which Italy won 4-2. Which two England players missed their spot kicks? And, for a bonus point, which Italian player missed his? #EURO2020 #Euro2020Final #ITAENG

Hot take: Three Lions '98 is as good as, if not better than, Three Lions '96. BUT can you tell me which then-England player reenacted Nobby Stiles' victory dance in the video for Three Lions '96? #EURO2020 #Euro2020Final #ITAENG #ItsComingHome