Hari Krishna everyone! Popey has been hearing that religion is getting a bit boring. Pop(e) quiz: should we bring back "sackcloth and ashes":

Easter again, and I had to put up with this rude blyatter. He didn't even bring me a choccy egg!

Ok. Rule number one of Pope Club.... Never admit there is Pope Club.

Oy Vey my children. Please, not worry about Yevgeniy, I'm alive and well! Now, race is on to select another Pope who is also Priggy lookalike. Luckily, I have the white smoke job (it's actually cannabis, not many people know that!) you'll know I've sparked up a giant hoagie!

Good one, Kim!

I've been having a look at the list of cardinals in the frame for the next #Pope, and it's not looking great. Hopefully I can get one of these lookalikes elected and continue my undercover Papacy!

Unfortunately, there wasn't a vial of holy water to hand! Blyat!

FALSE ALERT! I was just having a faaag! #whitesmoke

Ok, it's Cardinal Robert Prevost. That's not so bad, I can still be in the background!

VATNICAN NEWS. BREAKING bread. After my erection by conclave, I give following speech: Oy vey Hari Krishna. Allah be praised. Testicles, Spectacles, Wallet and Watch. May #Doge go with you.

Ying and Yang #usa #yingYang