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Seems to me, if the Conservative Right were conservative in all ways, they’d do all they could to conserve the environment.

.Andy Borowitz: Obama’s Barrage of Complete Sentences Seen as Brutal Attack on Trump nyer.cm/1Lk3Sv9

#Caturday

It's not just that Trump is a bad president. It's that he's a bad person.

Just to be clear: there is nothing “pro-life” about denying people comprehensive sexual education, making birth control harder to access, forcing others to give birth against their will, and stripping them of healthcare and food assistance afterwards.

Making sure I’m playing the right notes! #InternationalCatDay

The most important thing about Biden’s age and/or his memory is that he could be an *actual* potato with a qualified team of advisors—and a good Cabinet—and I’d still vote for him over that orange, wannabe authoritarian dipshit

Donald Trump isn't a leader. He's not a politician. He's a heckler at a comedy club who isn't funny. And he has a cult of hecklers following him.

Kamala broke Zoom. Tonight's Zoom to support Kamala Harris is the first EVER IN HISTORY to have over 100,000 registrants. #AnswerTheCall2024

We can all imagine a land that provides no support for Art. But is that a place you’d want to Live? To Visit? To Play?

We all want to Make America Great Again. But that won't happen until we first Make America Smart Again.

.Andy Borowitz: Obama’s Barrage of Complete Sentences Seen as Brutal Attack on Trump nyer.cm/aHwSfJM

Watch every episode of Broad City all day long with our #BroadCityReplay marathon. Social skills not required.

PROOF: Tucker Carlson looks at all his guests like they're eating mayonnaise straight out the jar.

The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy regulating that bad guy from legally buying it.

.Andy Borowitz: Trump Warns That Dumping Roy Moore Could Start Dangerous Trend of Believing Women. nyer.cm/kxnjtMJ

Corporal of Marines Missy Bill Mitchell T'was a hard war. No red or green or string lights in sight. So many Nutcracker soldiers returning with missing limbs and PTSD. And when they cut off Santa's head and put it on a pike - oh lord!

.Andy Borowitz: Trump Fears Next Election Will Be Decided by Americans. nyer.cm/MoTovSu