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it happened to me: i didn’t buy snacks so that i wouldn’t have snacks in the house and now i don’t have snacks in the house

I ate my baby’s hashbrown and blamed it on McDonalds forgetting it, I feel so alive

My gfs family does this thing where they just sign their name at the bottom of a sappy birthday card and expect the receiver to get emotional over what the hallmark people wrote

steph 🤸‍♀️ Type shit!!!!! I love being a mom and lying

It’s just Alfredo with a Jamaican accent

You’ve planned and saved for months to take your family on that dream vacation. You buy amusement park tickets. Then, you go to buy the flights, except all of a sudden… the price has skyrocketed. Why? Because your airline knows you just purchased those tickets.

😭😭😭😭😭😭

twins that raised us 😇

the moon is literally dragging the oceans around and you think your body shouldn’t feel it?

why they lowkey look alike thooo😂😂😂😂😂😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Went on a date in a chicken shop with Amelia Dimoldenberg 🐣💕 youtube.com/watch?v=Sad2sn…

As someone who has dated people who were jealous of me, GIRL RUN!!!

she says something so profound at the end, that it's comedic genius and I'm stealing it

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAA

I’m a yapper, I yap so much I had to make it a profession. @scamgoddesspod

SCAM GODDESS Wait, so our government is in their gofundme era?!

Now every damn time Law & Order come on I'll be up doing this. 😂

I’ll never forgive what the pandemic did to Florida Girls. Season 2 scripts were DNA altering. I wish yall could have seen it.

We have recession indicators but we also need depression indicators.