I think my next vacation is going have to be to the asylum. Morning guys #Z

At least twice a day, I stop myself from posting a status that would have everyone grabbing some popcorn.

What if her truth Was the desire for freedom Not the narrative To #conspire against you? #vss365

It was wrong on so many levels. #NotSorry

I wouldn't ever do a walk of shame but Im not above doing a solid sarcastic saunter. Morning guys #Z

8 hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Life update: still winging it.

That's it, bras off. I've clocked off.

What's the fastest way to mess up someone's Knock Knock joke? “It's open” #NotSorry

Candyman didn't fuck with nobody long as you kept his name out of your mouth. Morning guys #Z

Pinky and the Brain. You?

Remember, the only penis that really matters in the world is your happiness.

He wore a suit To start the date An eye of newt Determined his fate His bones would boil The #stock to eat Earthed in the soil A delightful treat #vss365

I never wanted to believe my flat mate was stealing from his job as a road worker... ...but when I got home, all the signs were there. #NotSorry

Don't judge me by my posts here. I'm worse in person because there are no community standards. Morning guys #Z

For legal reasons, everything I post is a joke.

Pickles. I said what I said.

A gentle nudge Firming with time He continued To redefine her Deceived by love Forced by greed the #extrusion Of herself Into a faceless Void of space Took time Yet held forever #vss365

I made a chicken salad last night. Apparently they prefer grains. #NotSorry