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Assface just released his $249 cologne! PT Barnum would change his quote to "There's a sucker born every SECOND". What would you have named it and what are the scents? I'd call it "Covfefe" and the top notes would be shit, bullshit, and batshit.

The talented, funny and kind Elayne Animals & Comedy Boosler and her BFF Elayne Boosler's Rescue Dog, Ralph #rescue #dog Ralph have sent us an AMAZING #donation from Chew who just notified us it's on it's way! Yes NO MORE BUTT FLEAS! 😹 Plus she and Ralph added in needed food!!! 😻♥️🐾

Assface's new perfume: Cult 45.

In honor of what July 4 used to mean in our now disintegrating country of past freedoms, #tailsofjoy just helped pay 4 spinal surgery for 5 mo old puppy hit by a car in Tijuana. Excellent Mexican vet will operate at a fraction of what the surgery would cost here. Viva Mexico!

Assface's new toilet water: actual toilet water. In a little gold painted toilet. For an extra $50 you get miniature copies of the classified documents he stole and kept in his mar a lardo toilet.

We'll be sitting shiva for America today. Hoping the midterm elections give us representatives who stand up to tyranny. Until then, while this government barbecues the Constitution & Bill of Rights to feed their insatiable appetites for cruelty and harm, we will witness.

I was so young when I wrote this I thought men cared if you were thin. Wait.....

When our own Nuremberg trials start sometime in the future, we will remember...

Just got back to LA from Italy. Another reason I wish dogs could talk.. So Little Bitey Beau could have verbally expressed his displeasure with me being away instead of leaving me a lake in the kitchen this morning.

Got back just in time to take my friend Rick Bursky (great photographer, great poet (and his brother Alan) out to Chinois on Main for Rick's birthday. Delicious.

For those who asked, of course I would take Little Bitey Beau to Italy, that's why I bought a house with land. But he now has congestive heart failure & flying would kill him. So I go only 1 month at a time & come back. I researched ships... if I could get him there I would STAY.

Both sides everybody!

The night we honored the great Richard Pryor.

Haha! Where there's a will there's a way.

Herr assface says he'll put a 50% tariff on Brazil because they're prosecuting Bolsonaro. Dictators supporting dictators, it's a beautiful thing. $100 coffee soon? Try OURS, Boxer Coffee. The BEST! Great prices & they donate to #tailsofjoy when you buy. boxercoffee.com

MeFirst Von Hatebag screws the American people again. 50% tariffs on Brazil raises prices of imports: mineral fuels & oils, iron, steel, machinery, aircraft, wood, wood products, coffee, juices, veggies, red meats. "Screw America, let my friend the traitor go free like me!"

If we lose Brazilian waxing this means war!

Thank you. It is delicious and so well priced. And saves animals.