Does anyone not have POTS? I’d like to isolate that gene

Every day I say “this is the stupidest consult I’ve ever seen” and then tomorrow comes

I refuse to believe some people prefer hematology over oncology, like I know it exists, I know people do, I just refuse to believe it

Leaving food on your plate when you’re eating in a middle eastern home is actually a declaration of war. I think that’s how the collapse of the ottoman empire started.

Being an attending is rounding early because you have to have surgery at 10 AM while you’re still on call. This lifestyle is not for the weak (or the sane)

I could easily be in Forbes’ 30 under 30 if I was under 30 and accomplished anything of significance. I have the perfect bone structure for the cover.

I promise sun and sleep aren't going to cure your cancer

I never thought I’d do 192 hours of continuous call but here we are

No I will not be seeing this consult but thanks for thinking of me x

then explain how i'm married to the game

I want an antiemetic that works universally for everyone all the time. I would pay some serious cash for that.

FINALLY I’m OFF CALL!!!! 20 DAYS!!! DO NOT @ ME WE ARE NOT THE SAME I AM BUILT DIFFERENT

I always ask because fuck uber

No time to hesitate with methotrxate you must escalate

Please stop trying to find the love of your life at the airport buddy the only missed connection here is my flight out of o’hare

Your conspiracy theory is correct. Sit down, get comfortable, enjoy the soup, nothing will change

I love not intervening, it is way more satisfying than intervening

Are you even a grandmother if you don’t make delicious scones??

The New England cuisine needs to go

Counting calories is a mental illness get well soon and let me enjoy my bagel