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Take an edible and write 1,000 words in your journal about ego deaths and life reassessment. You'll thank me later.

This is the new “corporate pizza party”…

Do you think the people complaining about the Kendrick halftime performance realize they were the target audience?

So we're all immediately fine with calling it the Gulf of America but when Jessica wants to be called Jeremy we all shit our pants?

My 71yr old mother sends me instagram memes about the current state of the world.

You know how people yell at their toddlers and puppies asking how they get so dirty all the time? That's me with my laptop screen.

The downside to working out before work is that the serotonin and good mood you get from the workout is immediately wasted on capitalism.

Every time I see RFK Jr. I involuntarily clear my throat. I can't help it, it's like a primal evolutionary necessity.

When people ask me what music I've been listening to lately and I have to legitimately say, "King Gizzard and The Lizard Wizard's 'PetroDragonic Apocalypse; or, Dawn of Eternal Night: An Annihilation of Planet Earth and The Beginning of Merciless Damnation' album ". 😮‍💨

I'm gonna be 40 in a few days and I'm well aware of how ridiculous this is for me to say but that Fred Again remix of Freelance by Doechii has been living rent free in my head for over a week...and I love it.

The lyric “Oh this is love from a gurney” would’ve gone so hard on a tumblr post had Coheed and Cambria released “Number City” just 3 years sooner.

The only silver lining to all this tariff nonsense is that all of our parents' friends and people we went to high school with who voted for Trump are reeeeal quiet on Facebook right now.

Me when I learned that GPT4 was able to successfully manipulate a human into solving a CAPTCHA for it...and it's had 3 years of learning since doing so.

Seeing a gofundme to relieve medical costs for a super rightwing guy who's Facebook profile is filled with pro-trump, anti-socialist, "a real man does..." and "hard work/lazy immigrants" memes is just...America

Chat how do I get "How much more harmful are the consequences of anger…than the circumstances that aroused them in us." from Marcus Aurelius tattooed on me in a cool way cause that shit is FIRE.

This is the meanest funniest shit ever 🤣

Sleep Token is just the audio equivalent of 50 Shades of Grey.

Today for cardio I did 2 Peloton classes. And now I have an exciting multi level marketing opportunity to discuss with you.

One more time: A company is not a family. Healthy workplaces value results as well as relationships.

Has anyone tried throwing rock salt on ICE? That works pretty well during the winter...