What’s embarrassing to democracy is not counting every vote — and you, of course. Count every vote.

Woo hoo!! Thanks for the shout out Natalie Harris! Come see Too Much at Tasma Terrace at 7:15pm. Melbourne International Comedy Festival #MICF

Once this comes out, my career's really gonna take off

The NYPD is using a bus to transfer arrested protesters at the Barclays Center. However the bus driver refused to drive it.

@berniebromanny MTA union has confirmed this is the official position of all bus drivers in the city: vice.com/en_us/article/…

Wtf!!! #BlacklivesMaters #brooklynprotest

How to bible

People stuck in traffic are witnessing NYPD beat up folks on their way home.

Tonight, First Lady Melania Trump and I tested positive for COVID-19. We will begin our quarantine and recovery process immediately. We will get through this TOGETHER!

Pitch in $5 to help this campaign fly. joe.link/3nvsFwL

If you have pre-existing conditions, they're coming for you. This is how #KamalaWonTheDebate. PERIOD.

One of the hardest personal defeats in my 2020 has been acknowledging that I'll probably never truly learn how to use Twitter.

In Edinburgh for August? We recommend: - ourselves (obviously) at @barrelcomedy, Sun-Wed - ACMS guests like @AManComedian, BriTANicK, Eve Ellenbogen, 🎹 Huge Davies 🎹, jacob henegan, @rainbowziggy, Mark Silcox, mosesstorm... - our lovely time-ordered list of shows noblefailure.org/edinburgh

@RickySim7 Jane Japes Moni Zhang Comedy Bee Babylon 💋 "Dead Mom Stuff" by Eve Ellenbogen (Eve Ellenbogen) sees a loudmouth finally talk about the one thing she's been keeping to herself for thirty years. deathonthefringe.org/event/eve-elle…

It turns out that #EdFringe2023 comedians have a lot to say about losing a parent. Check out "Simon David: Dead Dad Show" by @simongayvid, "Eve Ellenbogen: Dead Mom Stuff" by Eve Ellenbogen, "An Asian Queer Story: Coming Out to Dead People" by @RickySim7 (1/2)

"What no 1 in this room wants to admit is Trump helped all of you. He couldn’t sell steaks, vodka, water, college, ties or Eric - he has helped u sell your papers, books & TV. You created this monster & now you're profiting off of him" Michelle Wolf being factual #WHCD