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Heads up, orchestral musicians! 'Tis the season for Arts Council England's vindictive, small-minded, hatefully reductive employee/freelancer data surveys, and I would encourage everyone to go absolutely bananas with their answers, because f*** those dribbling idiots, that's why.

Tonight at 19.15 on BBC Radio 4: our documentary about the biggest, greatest and least known rock festival ever ... narrated by Bob Harris aka @whisperingbob. Yes, it's time to go down to 1975's #fantasypark Hope you're tuning in! bbc.co.uk/programmes/m00…

...in which #TheNakedWeek abuses American foodstuffs, rats out a future lawbreaker and gets its money thoroughly boxed. 📻 bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m0…

Yeah, because you lazy, cliché-riddled penpricks at the Guardian keep telling people it is. F*** off with your inverse snobbery. Go and print another f***ing Yotam Ottolenghi recipe that needs a £400 saucepan and 2 tonnes of Galapagos dodo garlic, but sure - *opera* is elitist.

Whilst the orchestra have reached agreement with the management of WNO, we need to carry on supporting our colleagues in the WNO chorus who have been hit hard by this process, and are subject to more redundancies in the coming months. This incredibly difficult period isn’t over

Bore off with your semi-colons, you noxious tub; you can't even manage a f***ing full stop.

Really enjoyed the new Glyndebourne production of Rod Hull: Resurrection

Went to see Trooping the Colour. Looks better on TV. Won't bother next year.

I think about the sheer f***ing inaccuracy of this approximately 35 times a day. It makes me so angry I could piss Bovril.

Tom Service's Mysteries of the Universe®

[NARRATOR] In 2007 Norman Lebrecht let's-call-it "wrote" a book about music that was so inaccurate, so lazy, so catastrophically inept on every conceivable level that the entire thing - every last copy - had to be destroyed.

Imagine a city with a small street featuring: - The UK's first Rep Theatre - The UK's oldest working cinema - The birthplace of Black Sabbath & linked to 20 Rock & Roll Hall of Fame inductees Then letting it be run down or demolished by developers. You'd be furious at the stupidity, right?

Pulitzer Prize winner

Are they jousting?

Neil Hopper.