Thanks to social media I feel like I went to veld, BVJ and boots and hearts all in one weekend

*points red dot on guards chest* *moves red dot onto ground* *guard chases dot* *moves red dot off cliff* *sneaks into unguarded door*

“what: When you're about to die but you need one last McChicken pic.x.com/vySrZ3CkaV” @LeahNand shae

If he doesn't text back, he's probably dead. Or should be, at least.

I'm gonna love ya like a black widow baby

Bacon is the main reason I will never be a vegetarian.

*in straw factory* This is the last straw, I quit *throws straw out window* *straw lands on next door camel factory* *camels scream in pain*