I’ll think you’ll find it is actually pronounced Will I Am Shakesp E ARE

Here's my idea: zero factor authentication. I pick up my phone and it just trusts me

I was in Boots today and I noticed the family planning items are right next to the reading glasses bit. I don’t know what this means but I feel it is deliberate.

Jack Campbell RETURNS to Guildford Fringe to perform his stand-up show 'Oat Milk Flat White' (it’s a preference not an allergy) Monday 10th July at 7.30pm Star Inn Guildford. buff.ly/3CY86C8

Jack Campbell’s new show, 'Oat Milk Flat White' TONIGHT Star Inn Guildford at 7.30pm has this little clue: Sonder — noun. the realisation that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own. Jack Campbell buff.ly/3CY86C8

Do I know anyone in Guildford? Do you know anyone in Guildford? Do I know anyone who knows anyone in Guildford?

At least two of these are incorrect and I can’t do anything about it #flaglover

Sideshow Bob?

Do you remember when it used to be just sweet popcorn? I see salted. I see sweet and salted. When did salt hustle it’s way in to sweet on a permanent basis.

Started playing FA Premier League Manager 2002 again. Started a career with Exeter. Third season in. #mynewfootballclub #exeter #exetercity #thegrecians #roykeane

My favourite thing about finishing work is sitting in my car, outside my house, on my phone. Bliss.

Inflation is out of control

Ohhhhhhh so they can change the prices when they need to

His knees are weak Palms are spaghetti There’s spaghetti on his spaghetti already Moms vomit

Comic Adam Bloom headlines @Justthetonic this weekend🗣 Ricky Gervais is a big fan: “He’s been one of my favourite stand-ups for about 10 years”. Also starring @Big_Diff_Venue are F R E D D I E and DMU alumni Jack Campbell bit.ly/3QzfBYu #DMUtop10

Looking for a laugh? Head to The Big Difference on Saturday night and catch 4 top comics including @standupandrew Danny Mcloughlin and Jack Campbell on stage at the Just the Tonic showcase bit.ly/3YLzPQH #DMUtop10

Looking for a laugh? Head to The Big Difference tonight and catch 4 top comics including @standupandrew Danny Mcloughlin and Jack Campbell on stage at the Just the Tonic showcase bit.ly/3YLzPQH #DMUtop10

Can’t believe the boob sale is back in town already!