Uncle Phil and Carl Winslow gotta stay without question. Abstain on Sanford as he is slightly before my time, honorable mention to Tim the Toolman and Mr. Tanner.

Respect

“I’m leaving the house at 8am tomorrow, honey. If you’re not ready, I’ll save you a seat at the gate.”

Say it with me: Hating Jews is weird. Hating Black people is weird. Hating White people is weird. Hating Asian people is weird. Hating Latino people is weird. Hating Immigrants is weird. Hating Muslims is weird. Hating LGBTQIA+ is weird. Hating bc they aren’t like you is weird.

Leave this one alone, she a savage 🤣🤣🤣🤣

If you’ve ever done chest compressions, you’ll never forget the feeling of ribs breaking under your hands 🥴

My father and aunt, both Dr. Waltrous before me, would like to play their tiny violins for him. The stories they told me…y’all don’t know what discrimination in medicine looks like compared to what they went through in the 70’s.

Social media? You’re still young if that’s the benchmark, I remember a day when cell phones (calls only) were only for the super wealthy

Um, if my wife was worth 1.7 billion I’m gonna be submissive as hell

Maybe I’m weird, but if you’re married, is there any reason to compliment a random woman without being prompted?

Some of the best briskets I’ve ever made have been these. Could easily feed a whole family for days from one of these if needed.

He complains about that COL being insane, but wait until that divorce payout comes up 😬

Been looking at this for 5 minutes and still can’t identify the problem

“I’d like to report a crime in progress…”

Man, my wife told me she did not want cake on her face at our reception because she didn’t want her makeup messed up. Guess what didn’t happen. Besides, a lot of y’all fools would respect that more if you also had to pay for said makeup

My G, this is pure excellence

Can confirm I loved chemistry this much

“Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth”