BONJOUR LONDON — I’ve only gone and devised my own little cabaret show! 8th February at the gorj Toulouse Lautrec Jazz Club, come on down to hear me sing some of my fave ditties! There will be special guests, a bar and my gay repartis! COME! Check her out! toulouselautrec.co.uk/event/jonathan…

watching a German show that's kind of like Cash in the Attic and I gotta say, the backstories are a little less romantic when they're like "my grandad obtained this painting when he was stationed in Bordeaux, please don't ask any follow-up questions"

This man will be king one day

hope I don’t get arrested for human trafficking lol

The execution of Oklahoma City Bomber Timothy McVeigh in June 2001.

I seem to have registered the domain noshitters.uk and I have absolutely zero idea why.

Look, when they said the Brexit deal was oven ready, they were including the bit where you take it out, peel the film back, stir it up then stick it back in the oven again. Has nobody used an oven before?

Back in the country, fewer literal bins on fire than I had expected.

It would really help mental health amongst painters and decorators if they could talk more openly about their emulsions.

Everybody knows what Match of the Day means to me, but I’ve told the BBC I won’t be doing it tomorrow. Solidarity.

This is good.

Apparently Gary Lineker, Alan Shearer and Ian Wright were all communist anti-semites who wanted to drag Britain back to the 1970s and take us back into the EU whilst supporting brexit and nationalise sausages and give everyone free broadband and not even their best friends knew.

Cut my hand on a pair of boxer shorts today. Will explain later.

So psyched to be presenting Pigeons - A New Musical with Celia Cruwys-Finnigan at #BEAM2023 Oxford Playhouse - look at this programme of amazing, innovative new musical theatre!

Pigeons - A New Musical is going to #BEAM2023 !! We are super excited to share our new actor musician musical and see what everyone else has been creating! ❤️

Fabulous evening repping Theatr Clwyd at the #UKPAPantoAwards! Such a treat to get back together with everyone and to top it off we walked away with best panto for Robin Hood! 🥳

Hi! We are looking for recs of brilliant actor-musos who sing and play acoustic guitar and ideally accordion too! Would need good AV w/c 22 May for a pitch at #BEAM2023 - expenses paid. Please tag your friends! 🐦#newmusical Mercury Musical Developments Musical Theatre Network Oxford Playhouse

A little instrumental snippet from our original #BEAM2023 pitch!

Happy trans pride!

JRM doing a taste test on air, can't believe they managed to get a whole pint of the stuff.