🔥The 9th Round of Easy Loan, Earn $40 Reward is in progress❗️ ⏰ Promotion Period: January 15th - Feburary 15th, 2025 👉 Register now and check more details at gate.io/campaigns/358

Washington Examiner You want to hear joke? Denmark. You want to hear other joke? The Danes. Seriously, a country run by dogs?

RT Sunny Hostin fall out of world's tallest stupid tree and like pinball, ricochet off every branch on the way down...3 times! Then giant bird pick her up & put her back on treetop to repeat several more times! Craziest thing I ever see!

🎶So this is my story all about how My life got flipped straight upside down I'd like to take a minute just sit right there And for £400 I'll tell you how I became a cuck to a b*tch with no hair🎵

I love it when the Trending topics tell a story

The lack of complex artisan door doo-dads I covet so much in today's modernized & bland hellscape sometimes really makes me unhinged you know? x.com/xmuse_/status/…

I know exactly what a lot of you weirdos thinking. What's it like to make intercourse with shark? Learn from my uncle Robert, do not try to make sex with sharks. Not only did he lose his erection, he lost both his arms & legs too! Now we all call him uncle Bob for short.

You know I once world #1 volcano tour guide (very knowledgeable about hot dirt)? But I quit because everyone take me for granite you know? Good thing too, place so poorly run, 2 weeks after I quit, place goes bank-erupt & every drown to death...in 2,000° Fahrenheit liquid rock.

Once while high on peyote I accidentally wander into arena where U2 annoying everyone. This Bono guy stop music & starts clapping & say "every time I clap, a kid in Africa dies". So I yell "so stop clapping you stupid retard! Why you like killing African kids so much"? He sicko!

Sadly, this exactly how mother-in-law's sister die. A little weird, but I really liked her a lot more than my mother-in-law. Ironically she use to work at Hooters & would bring me free chicken wings! I miss her so much because I liked those chicken wings. x.com/nypost/status/…

I use to play rap 'music' for my cattle. Then one day they all form gang, start spray painting graffiti all over barn & flashing weird symbols at me with their hooves. Sadly, I had to bust a cap in their asses. Do you know why cows have hooves? Because they lactose! L-Mao!

This cat remind me of me in college for some reason, which is odd since I don't remember much other than it cost a lot of money, money I could have been spent on drugs & alcohol you know?

This pretty cool & remind me of childhood as this exactly how parents raise me until I was 3 years-old. And to this day, I still have my natal jar (I going to recycle & use as urn when I die because I learn to be practical by eating plankton as baby)! #CircleOfLife

Contrary to what everybody think, I find eating deodorant won't make you smell any better. However, my flatulence do smell like Old Spice so I'm pretty popular at the bean buffet after bingo.

I wish I could be handsome, charming, & modest for just one day. Because it get real cumbersome for me being this handsome, charming, & modest all year round you know? What you wish for besides being me?

Did you know you 10 x more likely to die from coconut falling on your head than getting torn apart by shark? My uncle learn like towel, you increase survival fourfold by avoiding coconut-farming sharks. Ironing he die in citrus orchard where he get eaten by lemon sharks. #Science

See I always consider calorie to be more of taste unit rather than unit of energy. Maybe that's why I so fat? But I burn off at least 300 calories making intercourse, which pretty good for 2 minutes. Anyway, you know how many average calories in your poop? It's a sh!tload!

My astronaut uncle say there evil hexagonal pattern on Saturn's pole where Fallen Angels manifest themselves to corrupt humanity. He was going to go there & take photos but his spaceship from Alibaba explode when it arrived at his door. I guess he didn't planet that well. L-Mao!

Snake eggs!!