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I’m so proud of myself for not paying DoorDash to bring me Taco Bell late at night I just ate a bunch of chocolate instead

Opening up Feeld at 9AM feels illegal

Since Los Angeles wants to stay ageist we should at least start getting senior discounts at 35 yrs old

My mom recently told me she was considering aborting me when she found out she was pregnant. Damn… to think… I was so close to not having to pay taxes 😔

Guys will literally say to your face they’re not trying to play games then this is their dating profile 🙄

I don’t like when hot people are smart

Damn… A.J. Croce (Jim Croce’s son) really can’t catch a break

Ya I’m straight…straight up done with men!!!

New fav phone game doubles as new fav thing to sext my crush

This is how I know I am out of touch with the rest of America. Truly did not even know these were shows on the air rn.

I’m single by choice!!! Not my choice though. Everybody else’s! 🤣🤣🤣

Is it just me or do bananas not hit like they used to

Love the impulsive need to check my email at 10:53PM on a Saturday

There’s a women’s loneliness epidemic in my room rn

Maybe the male loneliness epidemic is the friends we didn’t make along the way

why can’t science invent a cold brew coffee that won’t give me a panic attack

why is there no such thing as a good deodorant

The opposite of a nothing burger is a something dog

Is it humanly possible to go a day without spending $30

There’s someone out there who cares about what you have to say 🫶 not me, but someone ✨