My twitter account is nearly locked follow @Kempezofficial instead!

I just voted! In your face Russell Brand!

Thank you to all Comedy Swap Shop Joseph Morpurgo CharlieKemp Maddy Carrick Alison Thea-Skot Short and Curly KathrynBond The Real MacGuffins

There was a young man named Zamora He fancied himself as a scorer. With Keogh asleep he silenced the sheep and buried it in the top corner !

My twitter account is nearly locked follow @Kempezofficial instead!

Now we've asked Tony Blair what to do with the Middle-East, let's ask Gary Glitter what we should have done about Jimmy Savile

Found a shop that Rik would have loved... (His three basic needs satisfied in one place).

@Kempezofficial CharlieKemp your hero theguardian.com/world/video/20…

My twitter account is nearly locked follow @Kempezofficial instead!

Catch-Up Service: Featuring this gem from Saturday by Daniel Finkelstein, who vouches for its truth pic.x.com/NRBp9gVCYO independent.co.uk/voices/comment…

What are u most ashamed of? Encouraging rape or ruining a Marvin Gaye song? #AskThicke

'And Every...' By Howard Morgan #painting #woodenwifeseries #34DukeStreet

Is Danny Murphy Costa Rican?

Surely after tonight the question really is, do the rest of UK want Scotland to be part of it? #commonwealthgames #westillwantandymurraytho

True dat RT Stephen Grant: 2000 - 'you need a good Edinburgh to have a TV career' 2010 - 'you need a TV career to have a good Edinburgh'

Anyone else think Jamaica should have 'lively up yourself' as their national anthem? It'd liven up athletics meets a bit!

This was in the oxfam book shop I worked in! Is that the only order you could do these things?

Although these have been around a while they're still not a mosque! #ThingsThatAreNotMosques

This is close Ukip, but still not quite! #ThingsThatAreNotMosques