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Quick turn around for the Boro as we take on Avenue in the QF of the Div 1 league cup tonight! Come on the Boro!🟡🔵 📍 Heywood St James 🕰️ 6:30 Kick Off 🏆 Div 1 League Cup UTFB 🟡🔵

Great win for the lads today. We build on this! UTFB🔵🌕 “No I don’t have the suncream I have it to your father. Anyway hurry up or we’ll miss the show. “ “Dad how come you and mum don’t sleep in the same bed?” “Not now, dear diary I have decided to elope with the stable boy”

What does everyone think about the ongoing conflict between Israel and Palestine? Personally I think there isn’t much difference between Tod road being closed and kier starmer kissing Dan Cav, we love Dan no matter what. But 2 💦keir has other ideas. Hence the giant chicken coop.

je ne sais pas quoi mettre en premier, mes chaussettes ou ma lettre d'acceptation à Yale

Unfortunately due to me typing the last tweet out in English and google translating it to French then posting it on twitter, the last tweet was indeed in French. Thoughts are with all those that believe in ghost and also can I quickly say OJ simpson was guilty. And for my next tr

POV you are a dirty window salesman in 2004 and a song is released telling people to open them (the must first buy them🥹) then all of a sudden you find your bed in a field, you immediately know this is the work of your arch nemesis Natasha.

Excellent this England top with egg and beef tallow all over it is perfect. Now nobody will be able to substantiate the not proper bloke allegations levied against us by carol baskin (bitch)

A very sad day for the club as we have taken the decision to fold! From two mates and a bar manager, with a dream to build a football team! I think we did okay… FJ Williams League Cup 22/23 🏆 Division 1 Champions 23/24🏆 Chris Shyne Trophy 23/24🏆 LFA County Cup 24/25 🏆

Dear diary, today I finally learnt how to ride 2 bikes at once. Following this I was taken against my will to the dyers to watch a young lady flaunt her soft bits and to me that is such a great day. The amount of apples we picked on our foraging trip through Todd was great too👍

We as a club may have folded but unfortunately that is not enough to clear our debts. We ask for one more push from our fans and followers to find it in their hearts to send as many Ugandan dollars as possible to wwwwillyoudonateihaveastuttwr.co.uk. Thanks to all that can spare anything

Okay and is that the same attitude you had when your own mum caught us swimming beneath the shop? Don’t be daft? that’s different, no way being smaller would have even helped the guy. Ok. That was great you guys, can we do that scene again but pretend we all hate fruit…ACTION

Hello, I’ve never done this before but I’m glad to be speed dating. Do you not think it’s a bit weird though watching this twitch streamer try and pick up huzz?

🚨a twitter handover to Rachel Riley . look out 🥹 she is throwing constant ants at the crowd. Where does she get her ants from? Has anyone found Rachel Riley of countdown fames ant source. She must have one in order to throw constant ants at contestants

Hopefully the league will eventually squash this group of absolute creeps.

Having found myself amongst Steven Spielberg’s inner circle, I often reflect on the mirror I’m looking at.

You come to me? On the day of my sheep’s lambing?

Olly nuts truly do good

That’s another one ticked off my bucket list. Me and some pals have just chosen 3 vehicles around the Oxford area to pick up (with the hand break on) and move them 3km down the road. See what Vernon K thinks about that

After months and months of requests I’m finally revealing my favourite colour… in 5 days

Day 5… keep an eye out😏