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For hundreds of years one of the most beloved of professions was that of the Honied Rat Peddler. For a penny anyone could buy a fresh rat smeared in honey as a tasty treat. For tuppence toffs could buy a toffied rat, pre-killed at no extra cost. Rat-on-a-stick was ha’penny extra.

In 1816 Dublin’s “Ha'penny Bridge” was plagued by irate leprechauns who had been disturbed during its construction. To catch the Wee Folk, nets were erected along the bridge, baited with stout & whisky. This merely encouraged every Fairy in the county to come & join the party.

Liverpool 1967 In Penny Dreadful Lane there was a barber who took photographs of every head he'd had the pleasure to have known. 1978 Olde Scotland Yard discovered that the so-called “hairdresser” was a Xyzoid bodysnatcher who was replacing his customers with alien changlings.

By 1958 firework displays at parties had been largely replaced by the fashion for exploding indoor atomic bombs, to delight children & adults alike. It was not until 1974 that health & safety concerns led to sales of nuclear devices being restricted to those over the age of 18.

In 1898 Aeneus Clench attempted to be the 1st person to circumnavigate the globe by riding a Penny-Farthing backwards. Despite a sterling effort he did not achieve his goal as the feat was completed 9 days earlier by Fanny Chaffing, who chose a route which avoided going up steps.

In 1941 Arizona once again suffered spates of violent & spine-tinglingly horrific attacks from a marauding cactoid. A team comprised of police, FBI & forensic cryptobotanists worked to apprehend the psychoplant but despite 867 gruesome deaths the serial tekiller remains at large.

After a spate of nocturnal bitings near the grave of the late haematologist Dr Acula, suspicions were raised, laid to rest & raised again concerning a flight of stairs at the grave. Police were asked what steps they would be taking to protect the public. They replied “These ones”

In 1981 there were widespread fears over the use of multiple anonymous donors by private fertility clinics after the controversial case of the Carr family, who had suspicions concerning one of their twin children after DNA tests confirmed traces of sawdust & congenital woodworm.

1995 saw resistance from the Texan cowpoking community to controversial new regulations limiting production of "gas guzzling" petroleum fuelled Ten-Gallon Hats, which were to be replaced by greener, biodegradable, environmentally-friendly solar & windpowered rechargeable Stetsons

In 1994 the Royal Jovial Ornithological Society was founded when the Gas Giant was found to have avian life after gastronomers operating a telescope mounted atop a sundial at the Jodrell Building Society’s astrognomonical observatory discovered that Jupiter is inhabited by geese.

2017 saw more speculation regarding a phenomenon Ancient Egyptians called “Khem trails”. Despite nonsensical theories concerning government conspiracies to spray citizens, it has been scientifically proven these are merely ectoplasmic gas excreted by the ghosts of crashed planes.

Although consumption of Chinese Green Tea is popular many hidden dangers go unreported, such as explosive gastrickery. Some varieties are particularly hazardous at specific times of the year. Undoubtedly no one can deny the dangers of drinking Gunpowder Tea on the 5th of November

#CuriousForgottenTarot Card For Today THE WISE GUY Advice •Be more careful with plots •Keep your powder dry •Remain Anonymous Inverted •Remember, remember, something or other Subverted •It is definitely time to blow up parliament Perverted •Politicians Lucky Letter: V

Suspicions grew in 2007 that poddelgänger clones serving the vegetoid will of Pod, God of Alien Bodysnatchers, were attempting to seduce an unsuspecting drooling human population when farms with silicon rich soil began to produce bumper crops of titillatingly tasty chest potatoes

It is sadly typical of the ignorance shown by most of the public that many citizens believe the Undead simply arise from their tombs to tear them limb from limb, not realising the years of diligent study needed to learn how to vivisect the living & extract souls for culinary use.

Celebrations were marred at the 3rd annual Namaste Masters' Jamboree of the Sun Tantrick Yoga™ & Poncious Pilates® organisations (part of the Spiritual Enlightment Ltd capitalist investment & tax avoidance conglomerate) during an accidental alignment of cranial & sacral chakras.

Interest in developing so-called "smart houses" in which artificial intelligence is built into the architecture & infrastructure of homes has increased, despite legislation banning construction of sentient dwellings introduced in the Mock Tudor period after 'The Great Devouring".

Many people have elevator-phobia due to fear of: Small spaces/Claustrophobia Being trapped/Cleithrophobia Heights/Acrophobia or Falling/Basophobia But these are just irrational symptoms of a subconscious realisation that lifts are predatory portals to soul-eating netherhells

#FF Guides CaitlinGrey Shimmer Johnson Author🦑John A DeLaughter🦑 Anita Dow 💖👑Veronica Cline Barton🕵️‍♀️🍸 The Martian Diaries 👽The War Of The Worlds Sequel Arte n Cræft Sheila Patel Cecilia @ElijahBarnsUK Paula Kim Michelle Ross @_TheresaHedges SelineSigil J Edna Mae 🎹 Jana Monji: The Dragon Lady 🐉 from Pasadena @LeonardTillerma 𝕮𝖚𝖗𝖎𝖔𝖚𝖘 𝙵𝔬𝔯𝔤𝔬𝔱𝔱𝔢𝔫 ࠋ𐍈𐍂𐌴 Gabriel Blake - Writer 📚