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Should I share my Spotify Wrapped or just post the list of anti-depressants I’m on?

Get in loser, we’re going to the Lexus December to Remember Sales Event

Going to be in LA Jan 1-7 if anyone has any standup shows I can hop on!!!

DJ White Guilt on the 1s and 2s

POV: you’re at the Rose Parade trying to blend in Budweiser Luisa Lange

Kill Bill by SZA but for single 30 year olds so instead of “I might kill my ex” it’s 🎶I might freeze my eggs🎶

Accurate. Hell, yeah. Repost: Luisa Lange

Look I’m as big a Harry Potter fan as the next guy but I draw the line at people playing quidditch in real life

Speaking of a PR nightmare, has anyone checked in on bats since 2020? 🦇

If you’re not able to give me: - 55 burgers - 55 fries - 55 tacos - 55 pies - 55 cokes - 100 tater tots - 100 pizzas - 100 tenders - 100 meatballs - 100 coffees - 55 wings - 55 shakes - 55 pancakes - 55 pastas - 55 peppers - 155 taters then I am not the partner for you.

Important: Panasonic TikTok - The Lab needs to win the %23ShortyAwards. Join me and vote shortyawards.com/8th-impact/df-1

Girl are you my 1099 because where the fuck are you?

Call me a Boeing 737 cause I might just disappear on your ass

Call me a Boeing 737 cause I might take up to a year to fix

Not enough people using bow and arrows

Girl we’ve read this man’s tweets, no chance he said this

A wise man (Gucci Mane) once said, “girls are like potato chips, I just cannot have one”

I’m getting weary of a civil war happening between swifties and non-swifties. Like the vibes on the internet this week have been hostile

How much pasta would you have to eat at Olive Garden for them to cut you off from the “never ending pasta bowl”?