Nobody told me Gandalf was in FURIOSA. Sorely disappointed, people. #cannes2024

BIRD (Competition) - Don't ruffle Rogowski's feathers. Keough steals the show and has a great Saltburn reference. Otherwise it's a messy look at parenthood on the fringes #Cannes2024

About 35 people in Agnes Varda this morning, and still everyone wants to sit on the aisles #cannes2024

A UNFINISHED FILM (OOC) - A deeply moving and humane film showing that people can be social, even at a distance #Cannes2024

CHRISTMAS EVE AT MILLER'S POINT(Quinzaine) - Even a Spielberg in a cameo can turn your movie sentimental - **

THREE KILOMETERS TO THE END OF THE WORLD (Competition) - Corruption, narrowminded townsfolk, religion; your typical Romanian drama, in other words. Formally strong, but utterly predictable - **1/2

LA PRISONNIÈRE DE BORDEAUX (Quinzaine) - I'm probabilities and plot holes galore in Mazuy's misfire. Huppert coasts, Herzi saves the film - **

And people think MEGALOPOLIS was wild... #cannes2024

RUMOURS (OOC) - Charles Dance playing a US president in his own posh British accent probably says enough, but that is only one aspect of this disaster. Didn't laugh once - 0

SAUVAGES (OOC) - Super cute stop-motion animation about ecological preservation, aimed at a younger crowd. But I enjoyed it all the same - ***1/2

THE SUBSTANCE (Competition) - Barbie's demented sister - ***1/2

MARCELLO MIO (Competition) - Everyone needs a friend like Fabrice Luchini, but otherwise this Mastroianni cosplay serves fans of the man only. Or people who like to see Catherine Deneuve play volleyball - *

GAZER (Quinzaine) - A dense film about a woman who is easily distracted that requires full attention. Watching this film at the tail end of an intense festival, I could relate to the protagonist: I lost the plot after a 10-minute nap - no score (it would not be fair)

Coralie Forgeat: shows a lot of functional nudity Some critics: misogyny! Sean Baker: shows a lot of gratuitous nudity Some critics: yes, king! #cannes2024

MOTEL DESTINO (Competition) - Set designer: Karim, what colors do you want? Karim Aïnouz: Yes - *1/2

Next year the festival should rearrange the seating arrangements in all screening rooms to ensure there are only aisle seats #Cannes2024

L'AMOUR OUF (Competition) - Nobody cries as convincingly as Adèle Exarchopoulos. Bonus point for Nas' Made You Look - **1/2

Jury on their knees, repenting #Cannes2024

"It's a prize for Best Director, but you can't direct alone." Miguel Gomes, team player. #Cannes2024

As of today, all my social media musings (not that there were many) can be found on BlueSky: bsky.app/profile/marcva…