The new book is now available on Amazon! Apologies for the delay. Totally Amazon's fault. Grab it now! amzn.eu/d/ixLqpwb

Melissa Todd I preordered it and got it the day it came out. (Probably because it was the kindle version) I thought I would just read the first 2 articles but it was so interesting and well written that I had read the first ten articles without realising.

Reading Frankenstein. How can an 18 yo have produced this? Doesn't seem possible.

Ivy tea. Got a chocolate tennis ball that opened to reveal strawberries, ice cream and shortbread!

I'm at Keele University! There's a Greggs and a co op on site! Didn't get that at Balliol.

In student digs tonight. Loving the young offender vibe.

That chocolate sauce makes me look like a Rasta.

I shall be on LBC from 2pm talking about onlyfans and Sweden banning live sex shows.

Had a thoroughly lovely time on @lbc with Ali Miraj and am now enjoying my first beer of the week!

Hear me discussing Onlyfans on LBC here: globalplayer.com/catchup/lbc/uk… The section is on from 2.03.20

There's a Melissa Todd working at the hotel where I'm staying. Let's hope she doesn't google herself. At least till I've left.

Love Aberdeen. Not been here for 25 years and worried it might not live up to my memories. But no need. It's glorious still.

Macaroni pie for breakfast. Magnificent.

I have driven 445 miles today on a single tank of petrol and a macaroni pie. Fear me. In Peterborough now. It is so far unimpressive, but that might be more me than it.

Home! Among the mountains of post, I find news that I have the urine flow of a 20yo man. Ridiculously smug.

In this week's Love it! A QR code that sends you straight to my book. Thrilling.

Submitting to the Faber anthology today and paralysed by needing it to be perfect. Found myself washing skirting boards instead.

Off to Birmingham tomorrow. Packing for two sessions, two custom films and a party. Haven't even unpacked from the last tour yet.

Ah the joy of a man whispering sweet nothings in one's ear in the midst of passion. Particularly "that'll do. We'll get some cutaways later".

On the SNAP 🔞 awards share.google/hsGbrtjf8486CN…