I’m guessing coats. Big ones. Possibly with some furry bits on. But not ‘that’ fur - the other stuff.

One of my first jobs for The Daily Star was to doorstep John Prescott in Hull about rising fuel costs for truckers - I certainly got a forthright response. Another legend leaves the stage.

Why GB News won’t be leaving Elon Musk ‘s X - PLUS why The Guardian weren’t responsible for Napoleon’s death (probably). A piece by me for GB News gbnews.com/opinion/the-gu…

Some rotters have ruined a special school bus - gofundme.com/f/applefields-…

Why I’m not convinced MPs can look themselves in the mirror on Friday Morning and be sure an assisted dying law is right. By me for GB News gbnews.com/opinion/my-dad…

I’ve already banged my head on a taxi door and swore loudly at the weather. Today already seems loaded with blessings…

I’m in that nice false hope period where I know a Brit has won the £177m lotto jackpot but I haven’t checked my ticket. As the taxi crawls through the flooded roads I’m thinking the first thing I’ll do after winning is fly to LA then buy a house from the Selling Sunset people.

After starting a day with bumping my head on a taxi door at 6am and shouting at the rain it has ended with getting home to a Dartford crossing fine and paying to repair next door’s roof after a builder went up to fix a leak on our roof and broke theirs in the meantime. Terrific.

I’ve developed zero tolerance for people who say ‘ooh I’m getting my steps in tonight’ when all they are doing is walking slightly further or faster than normal. The human race existed happily without this phrase until about 2010.

My wife, who clearly is never irritated by me, reports a secret epidemic of annoying men between 40 and 60 on trains sighing loudly and regularly.

People who do The Butterfly stroke in public swimming baths should be on a watchlist.

Big coats still in fashion after coming into fashion again a couple of weeks ago. Will check in again next week on how big coats are faring but I think as we approach late December coats will be key. Particularly big ones.

At last, socks are back in. I was tired of wrapping napkins, paper or plastic bags around my feet this last year while they were out of favour.

Farewell old friend. Off to sit on the big laundry basket in the sky. RIP Shadow 2008-2024

I’m in every picture but no one notices that’s me going up the stairs dressed as a hedge covered in flowers.

Grandad Corcoran

I know there’s a lot of problems around at the moment but I’ve decided that these ‘drinking / cycling around a city by raucous people’ machines are the worst things in the world

Train in vain

Hurray! Dresses are back! I haven’t seen a dress in years.

We really need to talk about this more. Crimes being committed by horses are another sign society is irreparably breaking down.