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"If you want a picture of the future, imagine a jackfruit stamping on a human face—for ever." - George Orwell on the rise of Veganism

Great to be working on the News Quiz again, on what I think was an especially rich news week

Don't tell me that Clevmania is over already? I'd only just got the t-shirts printed. #UK #politics #tories #conservativeleadership #MelStridewasrobbed #clevmania

Was great fun to be a part of this piece of madness from Funny Parts #birthday #kneel instagram.com/reel/DA_WQxUup…

Yeah, that fits. Joe Biden is exactly the kind of man to lose an election he wasn't even standing in. #USA #USElection2024 #harristrump #harristweed #RehabilitationJourney #secondchancesforfelons #blamejoe

Looking forward to Elon Musk bringing the same steady hand and razor sharp business acumen to US government that he did to Twitter

We're living in the timeline where Biff has the Almanac #bttf2

As with Sex and the City, the fifth character in Only Fools and Horses is actually Peckham itself. Oh no, sorry. It's Trigger. I meant Trigger. #sexandthecity #sexandthecityquotes #onlyfoolsandhorses #onlyfansandhorses #southlondon #peckham #peckhamwry

If you've ever wanted to follow your dreams of writing comedy full-time, you will find no greater opportunity than this. It worked for me, and I am now so successful that I just bought my yacht another yacht so it is not lonely while I'm out writing jokes with a massive gold pen

A very happy and holy Oak Furnitureland sale to all those who celebrate

A profound day for all of us who follow politics. Truly makes you realise that no matter what the context or tone of voice, the phrase "peanut farmer" always sounds like a cockney insult #youpeanut #peanutfarmer #RIPJimmyCarter #Respect

Sound of Music Themed Dinner Main Course: Venison en croute: Ingredients: 1) Dough 2) A deer

The inauguration is a big day for Donald Trump. It will only be the second time that he's held a Bible in his hand without a judge asking him to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. #Trump #Trump2024 #inauguration #bible #endtimes

Good of Melania Trump to highlight the incoming administration's commitment to both technology and law and order by dressing as Inspector Gadget #Trump #Melania #InspectorMelania #trumpinauguration #usa #Gadget #inspectorgadget #greatestandmostconsequential

Got to say, the All On The Board #thoughtfortheday wasn't as inspiring as usual this morning. But at least it's a poem you can remember. #london #londonlife #poetry #poetryonthetube #allontheboard #inspirational #uplifting

Can't believe there's a Disney Princess range of make-up, and they didn't think to call it Mulan Rouge #puns #Disney #edgyhumour #alrightprincess #moulinrouge #makeup

Do it once = You're being cheap. Do it every year = It's our romantic tradition. #valentines #costoflivingcrisis #costofliving #lifehacks #love #romance #modernromance #marriage #marriagetips #marriageadvice #greatusesforpostitnotes

New episode out today! Learn about the story of Billy Whizzbang, the plucky bullock who served in WW2. 🫡 Featuring Mike Shephard Tom Crowley (Not Here Anymore) Mike Wozniak Gemma Arrowsmith Gareth Gwynn Linnea Sage maximumfun.org/episodes/beef-…

We met up with comedian Mike Shephard in a pub in Forest Hill, (home of Bertie Sheldrake) to talk the gherkin gherka, European royal family leftovers and why anyone would want to be a monarch anyway. Listen below or on your favoured pod watering hole: open.spotify.com/episode/0yuH2x…

Great to be back wading through the rich beefy jus of the Beef & Dairy Network Network! Have a listen, and save yourself from an epidemic of truly arse-clenching proportions