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F*** the rizzler. I miss Terrio.

Having deep, meaningful conversations with Slackbot

Me protecting my takeout from getting wet in the rain

My old boss just payed his wife $19.50 on Venmo for “din din”

This month on Questions for Lennon? Sloppy boys podcast editor milan ☠️ patreon.com/posts/11515172…

It’s time for us all to admit that Dip n Dots is not the ice cream of the future.

This used to be a science account

I will be OFF my phone today. (But if you need to reach me, I will be active on all platforms via ipad & desktop computer) Sent from my leapfrog pro

I'm not California Sober. I'm an alcoholic who smokes weed sometimes.

Watched paddington 2 last night. Pretty good.

It must be my lucky day. UPS is hiring

Peanut butter jars should be wide, not deep.

Does anyone wanna go see Jet with me? I'll drive.

Anyone getting "jiggy" tonight?

Love is deaf, dumb, and blind: contestants must choose their life partner based off SMELL 👃 & FEEL ✋

*quitting a job You have seen only a tenth of my power…

I love slack because that’s where all my friends are

People who choose the music for cute dog videos have really bad taste. I could do so much better.