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BREAKING: The Houthis have formally requested that the US enters the war so they can make its aircraft carriers tip more fighter jets into the sea x

BREAKING: Sir Keir Starmer has asked Alistair Campbell to prepare a dossier showing that Iran has WMDs capable of reaching the UK in 45 minutes 👀

BREAKING: Israel has discovered that bombing hospitals is wrong x

BREAKING: Iran has confirmed there were terror tunnels under that hospital x

BREAKING: The country that has bombed every hospital in Gaza multiple times has released a statement saying bombing hospitals is "totally unacceptable" x

BREAKING: Iran has justified toppling high rise buildings, saying in each case it had reason to believe a single Israeli operative might have been inside. It has thanked Israel for establishing this as a rule of war 👀

BREAKING: Israeli citizens are now shouting at their own soldiers for starting a war they can't win 😭😭😭

BREAKING: Now that Israel has decided bombing hospitals is a war crime, it says it will do the honourable thing and continue bombing hospitals in Gaza x

BREAKING: A 77 year old country has decided that a 6,000 year old country has no right to exist x

BREAKING: Israel has reacted with panic to Trump's announcement that he will take two weeks to make a decision about joining the war because there won't be an Israel in two weeks 😭😭😭

BREAKING: I must bring you the upsetting news that Israeli settlers have kicked the crap out of Netanyahu's son in a bomb shelter. Turns out they hate each other as much as they hate everyone else 😭😭😭

BREAKING: After bombing every hospital in Gaza to find the non-existent Hamas command centre, the Israeli government is hiding in a command centre under Ichilov hospital in Tel Aviv. Don't worry though, it's fine when Israel uses human shields x

BREAKING: The people who bombed every building in Gaza are distraught that their diamonds have been bombed 😭😭😭 x.com/uricohenisrael…

I named my back yard the Garden of Eden, but I don't think this means it is thousands of years old, sweetie x

BREAKING: MPs have voted in favour of culling sick people to reduce the benefits bill x

BREAKING: The BBC has explained it can't air the Gaza Medics documentary because it could give the impression the BBC is biased against genocide x

BREAKING: The US has decided that nukes are so bad that it must nuke Iran to stop Iran from getting a nuke, otherwise Iran might do something really bad like use a nuke, and using nukes is really, really bad, unless we do it, in which case it's fine x