Alma Hanna If you not joking I will like to be your husband

In my inside out brain misogyny has successfully murdered all of the other emotions and has sole control of the wheel

hot ones but its 10 increasingly higher fat concentrations of milk

Question for other Brits on X; What did you call the day in primary school where everyone would bring in their cutters and play knifes in the climbing frame? And tie down Agnes and cover her with mustarde until she couldn't breathe anymore? For me it was Sloop Day.

Just completed a 16 month excavation into a 4 mile deep Peruvian cave system. I believe I've found the oldest verifiable Inca text; this could change the world as we know it. We are still working on deciphering it: Chicas de California son inolvidables Daisy Dukes biquinis on top

Why don't more Donkey Kong players do this?

Gave a Panda Express fortune cookie to my 8 Y/O son and it just said K*** Yourself!! WTF Panda Express???

Honorably discharged in the clan chat

I don’t even know what to say about this

Man I wish world war II had gone differently such that I had to play Hitler in ping pong for control of Stalingrad or France or something cause I bet I could beat him in ping ping

Overwatch teammate: "You fucking suck ass! uninstall!" Me: *turns on microphone and starts loudly slurping from the giant hamster sippy bottle full of lean hanging from my ceiling* Teammate: "wtf is that... You suck!" Me: *Sluuurp slurp slurp* Never let them get to you.

Congratulations to Oasis | ShinyMark🌙 for winning S Factor 11! ⚡️🏆⚡️

It's brat summer

congrats to the WINNERS of Epic Gaming this week! Dubs Winners: X'avier and Sparkle Redemption Winner: Taiden See y'all next week! (sorry for not taking pictures)

heavy is the crown thats on the head

I don’t make tweets; I make worlds. Look around you. Now look back at my tweet. You’ve now left your plane, and entered mine. You are in the plane of my mind now, and anything I think becomes real. This I why I tweet. The relief—I need you here with me. I can’t do it alone.

chronicler went 1-2 guys😹

what the fuck am I even doing out here man

Uninstalling Twitter until I can play Deltarune