Hahahahahah all u folks complaining about notifications can suck it! Now u know how it feels every day for folks like me who get none!!!

It’s fine to refer to me as “Paddy” but anyone who calls me Paddycakes or Paddybitch or Paddywhack or Paddy-whatever is super gay and will be reported

If she doesn’t reach for my peen tonight after I pulled this off I stg ….

Go eat where you can’t understand a god damn thing ur server is saying

Getting an early start decorating this year. Every neighborhood mom driving by watching me do this is contemplating what pair of panties they are going to throw out the window into my lawn the next time they drive by

To all my new followers, I’m a sweet bitch

When the fart’s so good you gotta check twice, and go back to see if it still lingers

I knew it was my phone’s fault for my dick pics lookin like they do!

The look newly acquainted lesbians give just before things go down in private

Everyone leave me alone today. I have 18 holes to fill, and have to also save energy to fill up a hole or two tonight

I got put into my first GC today. I have revised my position that people who get invited to GC’s are gay, to now be that you are gay if you’ve never been invited into a GC. Thank you for your attention to this matter

Ladies and gentleman this here is what we call an “own goal”

Your grandma when she sees my memes

Me, on SaturGay

Cleaned this up for those of us normally super straight dudes who celebrate SaturGay and don’t want to be tempted to zoom in

This is why you don’t cook and drink. I had leftover steak and fries. I perfectly caramelized onions to go with the steak. Once the steak and fries were reheated to the temp I wanted, I plated and ate WITHOUT the onions I AM THE DUMBEST MAN ALIVE

Let’s not talk about dinner tonight please x.com/patricklucien4…

I like Thicc Chicks

This one is for all the ladies out there. Heard all the babes love gray sweatpants. Well I’m here to heat your Sunday up

Oh God some hippie trad wife hacked his account