Peter Jones (@peterthejones) 's Twitter Profile
Peter Jones

@peterthejones

Comedian. TV Writer. Jones.

ID: 712022510

linkhttps://linktr.ee/peterjonescomedy calendar_today23-07-2012 07:59:37

43 Tweet

1,1K Followers

286 Following

Peter Jones (@peterthejones) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Just voted for my third time today, it’s actually pretty easy. Just say “no” when they ask if you’ve already voted and then when they’re like “ok good” you wink at them and then when they say “did you wink at me?” just say “no” then they’ll say “hmm” and then you can vote again.

Peter Jones (@peterthejones) 's Twitter Profile Photo

I’ve never seen Black Mirror but based on everybody’s tweets about it I have constructed this joke: An episode of Black Mirror where a sexy calculator turns out to be your dad.

The Project (@theprojecttv) 's Twitter Profile Photo

What's with these over involved security personnel at the moment? Even The Project guards have introduced a zero-tolerance policy. You can't say anything these days! Poor Peter Helliar

Peter Jones (@peterthejones) 's Twitter Profile Photo

RIDDLER. Exactly the same as Joker except he hosts trivia every Wednesday in the beer garden if you’re around and want to bring some mates down you could win a jug of beer and watch the world burn.

Peter Jones (@peterthejones) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Remember when Joanne Lees & her boyfriend came to Australia and one of us murdered him in the outback and the rest of us were like “sheee did it” and it turned out she didn’t do it and then one of us made Wolf Creek and a bunch of us were like “great movie”. What a psycho country

Peter Jones (@peterthejones) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Getting pretty sick and tired of walking into saloons and having everybody stop and look at me. Like, I get it, I’m a stranger just rolled in from out of town with revenge on his mind, but y’all don’t have to look at me all at the same time, it’s unsettlin’.