This is the best thing ever!!!

I’m spending my Picklversary with the Idiots 😾

Whatever you do, don’t sign up for my mummy’s new newsletter (which is coming out Wednesday) because she tells a story about me that’s blatantly untrue. Absolute lies. (I’m ashamed) penguin.co.uk/authors/31829/…

New album cover by Picklicious F featuring Fat E

I have no idea which foot that is. I think I’m broken.

What are we writing about this morning, Mummy? It’s very early. Do you want to play? Where’s my breakfast?? #Helpful

No I am not holding his hand!!! I was just using him for pillow leverage.

Prawny seems to have stolen his moustache for a toupee!

Wait for it …

🎼Oh what a beautiful morning, oh what a beautiful day! I’ve got a wonderful feeling, kippers are coming my way!!

I may have had some nip

Exactly the same except for the tail. #Twins

It’s coming! Something to do with menopaws whatever they are.

Bollocks! We have something for you, 'cause it's raffle time! £10 to enter. Animal charity of your choice. What can you win? Just 2 front row tickets at the London Palladium on the 22nd this month (7:30 pm) to see that bloke and his #Mortality 💩 Dog be with you! 🐕

What if Santa finds out I we’ed in my mummy’s bag?? If I did. I’m saying nothing.

With curves like this I think I could definitely make my fortune as a plus size super duper model ⏳

Me and Eric went to a Coldplay concert. They put us up on the jumbotron and now everyone thinks we’re having an affair! I can never show my face in public again!!!

27 minutes till dinner. I’ll have starved by then.

My Prawny! He’s my Mr Prawny! He chose me!!! Take that, Fat Eric!!!

I can’t decide who to dead first Mr. T the Taco or Lionel Lemon ??? (I will dead them both eventually). Please advise.