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And then Mary sayest, "These aren't really appropriate gifts for a child," returning the. frankincense, gold, and myrrh to the three wise men. "What the hell were you thinking?"

Which fun Christmas movie should I watch today? The one where the sociopathic kid joyously tortures two people or the one where the good hearted family man is so crushed by debt that he attempts suicide?

Luigi Mangione is Gen Z, which means his manifesto was definitely written by ChatGPT.

My new year's resolution is to finally get fit by lifting two days a week the ozempic needle into my arm.

My phone is basically just a machine that reminds me how hot Dua Lipa is all day long.

The KKK is so dumb they never realized burning a cross makes it looks like they hate Christianity

Everyone has a friend who says shit like "Dad called earlier today" Like how did you miss that stage of childhood development where you realize not everyone has your father? If you close your eyes do you also think I disappeared?

Honestly, Elon being like 'um actually...that was the Roman salute' is more annoying. And that's coming from a Jew.

Remember the good old days when the big online argument was 'Is that dress blue or gray?', not 'Is that oligarch a Nazi or a troll?'

Fun fact: You can now murder anyone as long as you yell "Stop the steal" while you're doing it.