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I wouldn’t say I’m hugely into watching tennis. I could probably name two current players. But there’s nothing more pleasant for me in summer than the sound of Wimbledon on in the background.

How I imagine Noel Gallagher over the next few months, every time his brother tweets

Who knows what the little holes in bourbon biscuits are for? Wrong answers only please.

Newspapers crowbarring Oasis into their articles today no matter what.

What on earth is this writer going on about in this Oasis gig review?

When one of the world’s leading AI systems starts <checks notes> PRAISING HITLER, it doesn’t feel me with a sense of ease about the future.

It seems every day I get a push notification from a national newspaper or magazine saying “Starbucks unveils new drink!”

Not sure how this helps me to “beat the heat” in any way.

Really have to feel for Anisimova, brutal to watch.

“This is turning into a Wimbledon final we had no right to expect to see” They do say some strange things.

Imagine ending up at a point in life where you’re sent to prison for chopping down a tree. Embarrassing.

Britain is a maze of idiosyncrasies, loveable foibles and outright eccentricities and @robtemple101 aka @soverybritish is here to reveal them in all their glory. Britain according to Very British Problems is out now in paperback: brnw.ch/21wUdcM

I hate it when people insult you on social media, you respond, and they say “ooh, touched a nerve?” A good reply is “Yes, insulting people will touch their nerves, that’s why you insulted me. The real question is, why was that your goal?”

If you think you’ve had an embarrassing moment today, I can top it. While grabbing a napkin from the counter in a cafe, I caught the cafe’s tip jar (actually a pot) on my jacket sleeve and sent it hurtling towards the floor. I reacted as quickly as a cat, swooping my arm down

British Summer these days: June - hot summer July - rainy summer August - autumn September - hot summer again

My top British school memories: -Stabbing holes in my rubber with a compass -“The Apparatus” -Very yellow custard -A long wooden pole with a hook to open high windows in the assembly hall -Give me oil in my lamp keep me burning -Bringing toys and games in on the last day