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3 days without nicotine…

90% of my wife and I’z diet is out of date shit I get from the grocery store where I work. I’m not ready for children.

I like how Joe Bob talks shit after the guest leaves. #TheLastDriveIn #MutantFamily #mutantfam

Late to the party for the finale! Is Isaac Hayes playing himself?#TheLastDriveIn #MutantFam

The wrong Trumps keep dying.

jesus christ i don’t care about celebrities slapping or spitting on each other i just wanna see adam sandler play a high school gym teacher who finds a talking basketball or whatever leave me alone

*man covered in punisher skull tattoos and surrounded by assault rifles* I was planning on watching The Little Mermaid but now I am not

Sweater weather, Tank top weather. I’m still peeling the toilet paper off my ass in public bathrooms.

J.K. Rowling why were there no Mexicans at Hogwarts

I can say antipasta things and Olive Garden won't drop me

Watching this gem one last time before it’s gone from Netflix. It’s become kind of a comfort movie for me. One of my favorites from one of my favorite filmmakers Macon Blair Happy New Year! CHECK OUT MY MUSSELS!

the food and drink detail in Tarantino films 🤌🏽

Thank you #TROMA Fans! Keep using TeamYouTube

One more indictment and Trump gets a free 6-inch sub.

If the Adderall ever gives Trump a coronary, the headline will be PILLS BURY DOUGH BOY

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Why does every folk punk band have a washboard player and yet they don't wash their clothes