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"Oh yeah, well See You Next WEDNESDAY!" still workshopping it but I think there's something there. gotta up my comeback game, constantly getting dunked on.

This would make a good image for the back of my baggy blue jeans

A sudden hush on the block Corner boys look around, wary Someone whistles "the cheese stands alone" in the distance The cry goes up: "That Menswear Guy who dunks on everyone comin'!" They scatter The smart ones anyway

Every Sunday I release something new on the Cracked YT channel. Did you know that? Today it's episode 2 of my series unpacking specific Simpsons jokes in great detail. mmmmm, video. youtube.com/watch?v=mOLVyC…

New letter to my kid Sunny is up over at my parenting/humor blog/linkfarm/newsletter. swaimstack.substack.com/p/love-you-be-…

ALIENS: We have come to judge all humanity through the mind of one randomly-selected individual! We shall observe their memories, their perceptions and the people they knew in life! Theirs will be the fate of all! Please, send forth - Andy Cohen. HUMANITY: Fuuuuuuuuu-

Hot tip - it is also free not to try it.

This is basically a zombie account at this point, but I'm posting jokes pretty compulsively elsewhere. New plan - from now on I'll just tweet this exact tweet sometimes. If you're a fan I'd appreciate an RT! Just once, don't spam people they hate that. iteration 1/100

A great loss, but now it can finally be said: Gene Hackman would be a good name for an evil scientist who designs mutants.

This is basically a zombie account at this point, but I'm posting jokes pretty compulsively elsewhere. New plan - from now on I'll just tweet this exact tweet sometimes. If you're a fan I'd appreciate an RT! Just once, don't spam people they hate that. iteration 2/100

This is basically a zombie account at this point, but I'm posting jokes pretty compulsively elsewhere. New plan - from now on I'll just tweet this exact tweet sometimes. If you're a fan I'd appreciate an RT! Just once, don't spam people they hate that. iteration 3/100

This is basically a zombie account at this point, but I'm posting jokes pretty compulsively elsewhere. New plan - from now on I'll just tweet this exact tweet sometimes. If you're a fan I'd appreciate an RT! Just once, don't spam people they hate that. iteration 4/100

This will be my last tweet except when I come back to fulfill the Papa Bear incentive thread I have pinned or to transfer it to Bluesky as well. Many jokes and fun projects in the works but you won't hear about them here. You can also join our Patreon or Discord free. Thanks! <3