Who wins in a fight: Ozempic or the Munchies?

I wonder if the potential heirs to the billionaires’ fortunes expressed skepticism about the safety of the trip or…. were they… nah never mind

Looking for a billionaire to spoil me with lavish gifts on account of how I’m so judgey

Is Threads what those nerds meant when they said they were gonna fight in a cage match?

Keep an eye out for the new Anta-Semitics.

Anyone else think it lacks empathy for pregnant women to eat eggs?

Threads hasn’t arrived until it’s the dominant source of screenshot memes

Men should only own one pair of pants. It’s all you need. Owning more than one pair of pants is feminine.

I know I’m getting old, not because my I need a hip replacement, but because I get so much joy from gardening

I’m an angry boy with a silly streak

You have to love a Jesus commercial set to a song by a guy who died from choking himself while jerking off

Usher giving 200,000 herpes

I’ll be in Dallas and Fort Worth MARCH 21 & 22! Headlining with Sandy Danto! Ticket link in bio or here: prekindle.com/event/39394-be…

Got a soft spot for hard laughs? 🤗🤣 Bite into an all-new #LMAOF with Jade Catta-Preta and Santa’s Danto! 📺 Watch ad-free: of.tv/LMAOF71

Seattle! Come see me Sunday 1/19! ticketweb.com/event/sandy-da…

Detroit a trade away from the finals TBH

I love the @sandydanto because he next generation not like that old piece of shit the Wolf Blitzer no good cocksucker