🔥The 9th Round of Easy Loan, Earn $40 Reward is in progress❗️ ⏰ Promotion Period: January 15th - Feburary 15th, 2025 👉 Register now and check more details at gate.io/campaigns/358

Sorry this was meant to be posted into an AI image generator.

She (neck oil drinker, full blouse, filthy mouth, 72% mad) said I should decorate one of my bathrooms like this. I wasn't completely listening because I was distracted by her cleavage and thinking how many bags of pork scratchings I could get in this bowl.

I don't go into details but her maverick ideas for bathroom design wasn't the only shocker. A bosomy bundle of bawdiness and indecency when warmed up. I've increased her craziness rating to 79% following outrageous antics that cannot be discussed in polite company. I need bacon.

I wish my American followers a happy independence day. Apart from those who wear baseball caps when not playing baseball, or those who eat cheese from a can, or grits, or those who speak too loudly in public, or those who say "gotten". Which is probably all of them. Traitors!

I might have been a bit harsh with my last tweet about independence day. It still smarts a bit. I think the best way to improve UK / USA relations is for American ladies (as defined by the UK Supreme Court) to send pictures of their knockers. Thanks in advance.

An unacceptable manual labour injury for someone in my position. I hit it with a rubber mallet.

Oh

Britain's best days EVER? Or days just slightly better than the shit state, cluster fuck we are in now? Either way, I think he is over promising.

Throw away the key.

The Greater Manchester Famileigh look more annoying than the Essex ones but equally awfully dressed.

You see this post and think, look at those shoes and that trouser break. Then you look at Peter Reid's strides. *I tend not to comment on ladieswear.

They were mad for a bit of knitwear on Bullseye

Good morning. Thanks to everyone who has let me know Bettany Hughes is on Sunday Brunch but even her appearance couldn't tempt me to watch it.

I expected better hats in a private hospital. Nothing to be concerned about. They are testing if they can create a chimpanzee from my DNA.

I'm on a roll, here.