If a comic does crowd work with no one to film it, was the crowd even worked?

Not all farts are bad. The one that slips out while you’re peeing is an unexpected aftershock that happens while you’re in pure euphoria.

Witness: The man had a hoarse voice. Detective: He like neighed and stuff? Witness: Neighed? Detective: *makes a horse sound* Witness: No, his voice was like raspy and deep. Detective: Most horse voices would be.

Happy Valentine’s Day to all the single people out there. Go fuck someone raw today. Take a gamble. Maybe you’ll find a baby mama/daddy to hate and you’ll never be alone ever again. 🥰😚

Sure, I’m flying Spirit Airlines, but little do you queefs know I got “upgrade to the bigger seat” money.

I’m such a procrastinator that I’ll wait to the very last set of underwear til I have to wash clothes. And even then, the tip of my dickhead will know what the raw feeling of denim is like until the chafe causes me to cave and do laundry.

Other comics: “we better leave him alone, he’s probably going over his set” Me: *watching a reel of a white lady making homemade treats for a dog in a sweater*

Comedian Saul Trujillo is our guest on #whatsupfoolpodcast this week. This foo has been paying his dues & now it's paying off. Go check him out at a show near you! * * * Watch on my youtube channel (youtube.com/felipeesparza) or listen on all podcast apps & streaming audio platforms.

You don't give teachers guns... SYDNEY CASTILLO See Sydney tonight at 7:30 in The Lab Long Time No See with Brandi Denise Jeremiah Watkins Saul Trujillo Jackie Gold +more! Get tickets at hollywoodimprov.com #hollywoodimprov #comedy #teachers

May 24th in the Belly Room don't miss the first #dirtyat1030 with @NotHormones Saul Trujillo Kim Congdon Kurt Metzger #robsmallwood @anthonyamorello Nicole Becannon Get your tickets at embed.showclix.com/event/dirty103… #thecomedystore

Wives farting at the store. Saul Trujillo See Saul Tonight at 8:30 in The Lab Hell Yeah! With Liam Carmen Morales Catwoman The Animated Series +more! Get tickets at hollywoodimprov.com #hollywoodimprov #comedy

Just Announced: We've added a Main Room show tomorrow night at 10:15 with Craig Robinson Steph Tolev eddie pepitone Saul Trujillo +more TBA! Tickets on sale now at hollywoodimprov.com #hollywoodimprov #comedy

Karate at a comedy show! Michael Blaustein See Michael tonight at 8:30 in The Lab with Sara Weinshenk Feraz Ozel billy bonnëll Saul Trujillo Andy Woodhull +more! Get tickets at hollywoodimprov.com #hollywoodimprov #comedy

Two days ago in NY, I saw Mark Ruffalo eat a wild berry off a tree in Central Park and I thought “what an asshole.” Today in Boston, I ate edibles some random lady at Fenway park handed me. My bad, Mark. You were just enjoying the fruits of your environment. I get it now. 😅

Tuesday at 8pm in the Belly Room #BURIED with Craig Conant Stephen Furey Annie Lederman Ian Edwards Drew Dunn Saul Trujillo #ericfriedman Tickets at showclix.com/event/buried-j… #thecomedystore

Wednesday don't miss The Dirty at 10:30 with @NotHormones Saul Trujillo @mostlysorry George Perez #feliciafolkes #danielmoquin Josh Potter Tickets at showclix.com/event/dirty103… #thecomedystore

In the middle of a fever dream an Indian toddler coughed into my eye. Okay. That’s fair. That’s on me, Spirit Airlines. I should have known that there would be extra charges. That ticket was too cheap.

Merry Christmas.

Bah, Cum rug. #MerryChristmas

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