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Jingle All The Way is on. Arnie has promised his kid that he'll buy him a Turboman toy for Christmas, but it's Christmas Eve and he's forgotten. I guess you could say he needs to ... get to duh siopa.

How about an advent calendar where the numbers are in order. I’m a busy man, can’t be fucking around looking for number 13

Very nice to see this doing the rounds again. When I was a little kid I used to go to Manchester and come back with the accent. Harry and Paul thought this was very funny so wrote the sketch. The timing was perfect. 😎

Aw these Oasis fans crawling oot the woodwork but couldnae even name ye more than 2 flavours.

She’s sold monorails to Brockway, Ogdenville, and North Haverbrook, and by gum, it put them on the map.

my friend is writing a pub quiz and for the tiebreaker they have "name popes until failure"

Climate change experts: all targets were missed and the world will be uninhabitable for humans within our lifetime Radio presenters: a new report says future Christmases will be warm, good news if you hate scraping ice off your car. Text in if you hate scraping ice off your car

son: *counts to ten* wife: good job me: (smugly) eleven

I’m an optimist

Oh your "out of office" is on is it. You're off "all the way through" are you. I'll tell you where you couldn't put an out of office on. It's starts with B. And it ends with attle of the Somme

today’s the only day I can repost this

Tom Hardy says it’s definitely worth getting your own pic of your local supermarket’s festive opening times. “You can’t rely on Google,” he advised

Israel has destroyed the last remaining hospital in northern Gaza. We have witnessed the total decimation of Palestinian healthcare, met with silence from political leaders who refuse to acknowledge the horrors they have enabled. This is the dehumanising reality of genocide.

The brainchild of Tony Cantwell (Tony Cantwell), the Bureau De Change Song Contest comes to Dublin's 3Olympia Theatre on Friday 9 May 2025 🎶 The mock Eurovision parody party boasts a stellar line up including Owen Colgan, Ali Fox, Seán Burke and more 😂 🎫 Tickets on sale

Annual spin of this

Apparently the cardinals can elect you even if you’re not at the Conclave. That’s the last thing I need on top of everything else.

Pranked by the worst tour guide ever… Some ATP and WTA tennis stars had a car journey to remember 😆 #MMOpen