
Statler and Waldorf
@statlerwaldorf
The original cantankerous comments section has come to Twitter! Heckles, jeers, and age-old wisdom straight from the balcony.
ID: 864940662533128192
17-05-2017 20:28:18
810 Tweet
97,97K Followers
40 Following


Friends don't let friends waste their time watching The Muppets. Unfortunately, we don't have any friends... so you'll have to do that for us!

Careful which of The Muppets you heckle! Sure, they're all terrible, but some of them are giant, hungry monsters who haven't had lunch yet!







We may not like 'em, but we'd love to be invited to a group text with all of The Muppets. Once we're in, we can heckle them no matter where they are or what they're doing! Doh-ho-ho-ho!


Sure, the best things in life are free... but so are the worst things! For instance, we've never spent a cent to see The Muppets perform. Doh-ho-ho-ho!




Trouble falling asleep? Just turn on anything with The Muppets in it! If you're at all curmudgeonly like us, you'll be conked out in no time! Doh-ho-ho-ho!

S: I'm really looking forward to bringing out my cold weather wardrobe. W: Really? Why's that? S: Because I can finally wear earmuffs again – that way, I won't hear a thing The Muppets say, sing, or shout at me! Doh-ho-ho-ho!


Remember: If it's not broke, don't fix it! The opposite is true for our hearing aids... if they're broke, please don't fix 'em. We don't want to hear what The Muppets are doing!

